Jeter gift basket jokes are so old, Roy Moore doesn’t even notice them while walking through the mall.

As a recently married man—don’t worry, it gets...to continue. forever. At least then it probably won’t involve stationery.

I thought it was funny how my wife slaved over seating arrangements for a full day. Then I looked at how she did my side, asked her if I could handle that, and divvied that up in about 15 minutes like England drawing borders on an African map.

Or, just hang out with your wife and kids. That seems appropriate here.

So different context. It was the late 1990's and early days in mobile communications. My now wife picked up my cell while I was in the bathroomand started to listen to my voicemail. One of those messages was from a lady and in her sweetest dulcet tones wanted to know when i’d be calling over.... that she had a hot…

You fail to mention that in Australia, the horses run clockwise around the track.

Reporter: Can you tell us how it feels to both start and finish with yourself?

Parkey: Feels? I guess a little lonely sometimes, but that is a kicker for you. These guys have groupies lined up around the block and can get into the hot clubs for free, but kickers... unless we are in a relationship we’re used to taking…

+2 low-hanging fruit.

Tom Benson: new phone who dat?

Romo is a terrific analyst who also sounds exactly like some guy at the Oshkosh BW3 when he’s not analyzing.

But will he be good when the playoffs come? That’s the real test.

Choke the Raven nevermore.

a fun but ultimately pointless exercise

WTF, no opinion on diagonal staples? So much better, and less chance of tearing.

Would everyone please just calm down? Trump already met with the President of California a few days ago.

Boy he really flipped the switch

It creates a truly authentic NFL experience when the fans can get CTE as well.

What, and run the risk he takes out THEIR guys? Nah.

“Applied Economics was fairly limited in its scope. That’s why we are pleased to announce that the chamber has decided to commission the fine people at Implied Economics.”

Yeah, all that 70s fun I’m just glad he didn’t find Warhol rolled up in his storage unit.