I somehow got on a mailing list for all of Don’s “personal surveys” begging us to tell him that we all really love him. I fill them out, politely explaining why he’s an embarrassment to the Presidency, the U.S., and the entire human race, and—I know it’s petty, stupid, and pointless—when asked, “Is there anything else…

“Tiffany who?”-@realDonaldTrump

This future sucks.

He was an armed police officer who did exactly what he was trained to do. He was not a teacher, a student, a janitor, or a member of a posse’. His actions don’t dilute the “gun control narrative” because we think cops should have guns and be properly trained to use them. However, we don’t think teachers should have…

Smart money says that one of his creepy ass relatives was on it.

I feel like it’s not totally outside the realm of possibility that he has a toy button.

Hi, everyone. Apologies for so many posts, today.

OMG that last bit about Carlos Murguia...

I love how the leaks are coming within hours now and how there is so much detail.

“I’m well aware that people are skeptical of me discussing this topic. I’ve been criticized for my commitment to tackling this issue, and I know that will continue. But it will not stop me from doing what I know is right”

it appears she did so with a completely straight face.

Our middle school had a rule that kids couldn’t wear sweat pants (it was the late ‘80s), and 7th grade me thought it was so stupid. I asked my Dad, who was a principal at an elementary school, why, and he just looked at me and said, “Boners.” There has never been a more obvious answer to a question.

you guys are probably right.

If you’re measuring out the butter you use to cook with, then you have failed at life and need to reevaluate everything. The proper amount of butter for cooking is at least twice as much as you think you need.

This take is irredeemably bad. I Can’t Believe it’s Not Better.

I’m sure you’re an otherwise wonderful human being, but this take makes you a goddamn monster and a war criminal.

i recently purchased a $700 solid wood dining table from crate and barrel. it is very nice and very very safe.

Thanks for the info folks. My hunch was right! And I didn’t read this anywhere, I wasn’t looking at show reviews, it’s just so obvious that the sets were less elaborate, you didn’t have a hospital, a gas station, a couple city blocks, a police station, etc, just a traffic pileup on a lonely road, and a nice homey…

You want to feel old, realize all the bands of your youth are now on shitty packaged nostalgia tours that you used to make fun of Baby Boomers for seeing. My parents lost their shit when Steppin’ Wolf played the county fair and I rolled my eyes and whined. Yet, the Offspring played my local county fair last…