I’m turning 30 this year and still have the occasional acne outbreak. I’m never thankful for that, but if it’s got to be that or the Olsen look, I’ll just buy stock in Clearasil and be grateful.

okay but that officer is hot tho right

“....programs comparing girls who’ve had sex to used tape, chewed up gum, and stinky old shoes.”

And I would totally accept a class teaching that Prince founded America in 1984. I was born in 1985, so Prince’s America is the only one I have ever known.

Growing up on a ranch, sheep were the god damn best. Ours was named Lucky, and he wore a little dog collar, and he just followed me around being generally pleasant and social. I fucking loved Lucky.

So fkn Yorkshire!

Look back up at the picture at the top of the article and read this to yourself:

I assume the protagonist just prays for the murderer to reveal himself and then when he does you don’t lock him up because he said Jesus already forgave him.

Oh, it definitely is growing. Fiction that is considered “Christian anything” is becoming more and more popular. Part of my librarian duties is acquisitions and I had a woman ask me to purchase a title that she described as a “Christian murder mystery.” I had to stop myself from saying what the hell does that even…

I’ve read all those books. I loved all those books. They also TOTALLY FUCKED UP MY LOVE LIFE. Like, it was really all I had to base romance on, besides my parents saying I had to wait to have sex and wasn’t allowed to date.

emo-Trump hahahaha

i was gonna say its Joe Biden’s travel bubble, much like Glinda the Good Witch

Does that mean I should be buying drugs from Mr. Singh, or letting Acid Bob cut my hair?

I’m simultaneously laughing and dry heaving imagining him emerging from the shower.

“A bald spot like that is embarrassing. At that point you need to embrace the balding instead of pretend it’s not there. His hair should be as short as Obama’s – he’d be better off.”

Can you imagine how terrifying that thing is when he gets out of the shower? His hair has to be like 8 inches long in strategic patches to pull this shit off.

He’s the Polar Express of Bushes.

Oddly specific, and yet accurate.

You guys. Jeb Bush’s face creeps me out like nothing else; his features are so close to Dubya’s but so far away too! It’s like he’s a somewhat poorly made but still identifiable GW robot clone.

Dude looks like an evil grandma who is waiting for you to eat the delicious apple pie she made - except she put arsenic in it to kill you so she could get it with your teen-aged boyfriend.