Does your soul come in chocolate flavor, too?

Goddamn, I wish my eye makeup could look as nice as hers.

That's so true! I look in the mirror and while I am annoyed that my face is fatter than when I was 20, I don't have the horrid cystic acne. Which for me was so humiliating, that just having scarring instead of acne makes me so much more positive about my appearance than I used to be! I get to renegotiate things that…

That's the part that makes me sad!

Well, Edy's makes girl scout cookie flavors ice cream.

To clarify, do you also have the ice cream ready to be topped with crushed thin mints?

Awww, thanks!

I'm sure it seemed like a good idea when your former roomie was at Sam's or Costco!

I turn 31 at the end of the month, have spent my entire life in the Midwest or South, and just tried Craisins for the first time in my life. These little gems are DELICIOUS.

Clothing optional. Nudity highly recommended.

I sincerely doubt that picture is the first instance of the dog being stepped on.

I know the Quiktrip near my parent's house pays employees double to work Christmas and Thanksgiving. And the employees told me the owners bring them Christmas gifts that day.

I was (sadly) hoping for a Richardson knock-off. Nope.

Ohh! I do that! I buy bermudas so that I have capris that fit well!

She probably decided to give you the quilt and then was worried you wouldn't like it, so she wanted to get you a more traditional present. While those Walmart sets are janky as hell, they do look nice and are easy to wrap. I mean, you can imagine the conversation going something like,

I've never worked at a garage, but "I could get paid the same amount to work retail" sounds to me like, "should I ever decide to abandon my soul and be mistreated by everyone, I can work retail!"

I had this discussion the other day with another commentor. I went to Catholic gradeschool and we were totally taught that Santa still visits kids of Jewish and every other belief (or lack thereof) system.

Listen, Mark's just full of shit. He's been on the naughty list since he was 6. I can't go into details of just how I know, but I know. Like, it's so horrible that Santa has the reindeer poop on his rooftop as he flies by and of course Santa doesn't leave him presents.

...yeah. I feel like there are some really FUCKING OBVIOUS policy measures that could address this issue and it's being willfully obtuse on the part of legislators to pretend otherwise.

I liked it until I started having feels about feminism and realized that every woman in that movie is supposed to shut up and be what the man wants her to be.