Make ice cubes and put the in the company freezer and see how long it takes people to notice.

Wait until I tell Moms she’s been a psychologist all these years!

This reminds me of the time Seth McFarlane had a part time job selling weapons grade uranium to Saparmurat Niyazov, President for Life of Turkmenistan.

I know, right? Superheroes? Fighting for justice and equality? What an absurd concept!

Oh common mistake. Because, as we just established, you are in fact dumb as hell. Like, you typed words, so kudos. But then those words were so damn stupid.

I actually do go up to every diner in any establishment I eat at to tell them if they’re being assholes and what they can do to be better.

This week on The Salty Waitress:

“So, what are you into?”

Boondock Saints was in the curriculum when I was at Troll Academy in St. Petersburg, but I could never bring myself to watch it. I gleaned enough info online to fake it.

Terry Brooks is best-known for writing the epic fantasy series that kicked off with The Sword of Shannara back in 1977.

To be fair to Hirsch, he did this back in 2015, when we didn’t know it was wrong to choke a woman out at a party and never apologize for it. Is it fair to judge historical figures by present-day standards?

Am I going to read this book and realize about half way into it that it’s just a knock off of Dune?

You would have shot a kid anyway.

He brings a mean knucklepuck and some much needed street smarts to push this team over the top

Another Easter egg: Dryden Vos is really Vision.

Your mother was in town; your week was already ruined.

but a white dude can stab a black person in the chest with a burning cross and its all “We cant rush to judgement, you dont know what he meant!”

That storied period where all Americans had access to healthcare, I remember it well.

Downloaded this program called WinRAR to open some .rar archives. Then it was all like, “This is not a free program. Please give me moneys.” But it kept working anyway.