h/t doorfliesopen.com

It was very polite for the Colts to send all the other candidates home with ‘Finalist’ banners.

New York is a dilapidated, trash-strewn shit hole.

Did Bettis get three yards on that carry? Which I believe is one more than his career average.

Are you his agent?

I also hope that I am well thought of in my home town even after I help murder someone and destroy evidence. For all my faults- like that time I helped murder someone and destroy evidence- I feel like I have contributed a lot of positive speeches and tackles.

“...and I’d really like to thank my son.”

With that hairline, testicular cancer, dealing with Toronto d-bag journalists (hot dog jokes - hhur-durr) Phil Kessel ran out of f**ks to give ages ago, god love him.

Brady throws a pick-6 to end the game on their first OT possession.

I posted this on DUAN, but I feel like it’s worth repeating. I was kind of hoping for thumb dance, but instead he comes out and attempts a stomp-stomp SKOL thing to stoke the Minnesotans - no one caught onto what he was doing, Minnesotans are not usually very stoke-able folk. Then he does this:

I’d assumed that it was a note that said, “HELP” scrawled in blood.

South Carolina certainly didn’t feel this interested in standing for the US flag a little over 150 years ago.

Shit like this enrages me so much that it makes me want to throw my keyboard against the wall. Which is fine, because the Logitech 2600 Wireless Keyboard is built to sustain impacts of up to 600 pounds of force.

Tonight’s SOTU, in contrast, will be wrecked by the appearance of Brown Strawmen.

All of Trump’s Wives: He Cheats Like Hell.

People these days. All these snowflakes go right to their mommy blogs when I correct them on facebook by telling them, “Actually, your kid seems a little ‘cunty’.” Now I’m not welcome at Thanksgiving anymore. Did I make a big deal about it when their kid had an allergic reaction at my Super Bowl party? No. I told them…

Next time McMahon had better fucking agree, “Less filling.”

Never trust anyone who speaks in superlatives.

Looks like Strahan might be wagering the child support checks.

Ha ha very original joke.