She would have stolen Michelle Obama’s recipe and said it was she devised it herself.

I was hoping that link would go the “Ultimate Showdown”

Go to Settings > Messages > Message History. If ‘Forever’ is selected, they are backed up to iCloud and will keep coming back from the dead, so to speak.

You also deserve better than that hammered medium well steak in the banner image.

He was in the Bahamas immediately after Dorian hit too

In a similar vein, my wife’s grandmother bought her a lifetime subscription to National Geographic when she was 9. I think it was something like $1000 in 1986 money to do so, but that badboy shows up like clockwork every month. It’s awesome.

I saw Live open for the Ramones in Toronto in 96. They got booed off the stage in the middle of their 2nd song. It was awesome. Gabba gabba hey!

Are we...are we brothers? Because you just described my mother perfectly.

She probably pushed some toy trains around a track once.

The KSK style guide insisted on you being humps

Brandon has never worked in as a waiter.

Get your 2 year old to say “suffering succotash”. Hilarity will ensue.

I’m 46 and balding quickly. However, I have zero grey hairs and it looks so weird balding with a shock of dark brown hair remaining. I kinda wish I would go grey so that I would look a little more natural.

Nobody who speaks German could be evil

I’m a Raptors fan, and honestly I hope he left because of Drake.

Bullshit, pizza is everyone’s favorite vegetable. 

Holy shit, my company made those shirts!

Mojo & Skid!

I’m crying blue & white tears thinking about him...

I saw Live open for the Ramones in 1996. They were booed off the stage in the middle of their 2nd song.