These people are way behind the curve.  My child was born today and I named him Berhalter Pulisic.  He’s gonna be the coolest f’in kid in pre-K come 2022.

Can they come to America to speak with parents of lacrosse players?

“Well, I believe in the soul, the knob, the quim, the swell of a bird’s arse, the curling free kick, bangers and mash, brown ale, that the novels of Jane Austen are self-indulgent poorly-edited bunk. I believe Jack the Ripper never left a note. I believe their ought to be an Act of Parliament outlawing Omniturf and…

(Those Landfill Fries sound like something I would actually eat and now I feel real bad about myself.)

It is up to Congress to allow states into the Union but a President can veto. Happened with Nebraska twice (second time was overridden though).

“I’m not kidding when I say the choices are here are just poor choices,”

That was a bold choice on his part, to just imitate Kris Kristofferson.

It’s so frustrating, because if you focus on individual bits, some of them are quite lovely. It’s just that none of them belong in the same house as any of the others. It’s like someone wandered through an Ikea with their architect and said, “Can you make it look like all of this at once?”

Sure do love all the perfect parents in this comment section who have never, ever fucked up, not even once. Not even when they are tired, or stressed, or sick, or overworked or running on fumes.

Indict Me If You Can

Guess which team is about to ride the Polonium Express?

Suarez was expecting to feast on Russia’s players, but not exactly like this.

Boateng’s red was a blessing in disguise because it forced some variety into their attack. Boateng was leading every charge into the Swedish half which is...not ideal.

Well, someone’s going to the gulag for that sort of dangerous mistake. Obviously they should have sabotaged the Saudi team before playing Russia.

One side should have a ramp to jump over the other side to make the switch. Add some spice to the commute.

Obviously Reid has a complicated mac and cheese recipe. He’s struggled for years with the two-minute recipe.

I’m sorry L. Jackson, but please run this wheeeeel

Or just suck it up and design their cars to be compatible with [already established] Tesla charging stations.

This is the dumbest shit. I was in the infantry for ten years and I have seen strong, well trained men freeze up, piss themselves, cry, and/or run screaming the first time they got shot at. Arming people will do not a goddamn thing to prevent school shootings. I even feel bad for those cops (I hate cops) that are…