Where’s Will Leitch

wow. I guess you respect the Andrew Cuomo that lives in Andrew Cuomo’s mind, because the actual Andrew Cuomo one reads in the news is botching his own agenda left and right and is only “powerful” in sound bites. He can’t get NYS Republicans to get on board with most of his plans, the Republican feds are about to…

Meanwhile, Mitch McConnell looks like he’s currently getting a good handjob plus a finger in the ass

You're so sure this series is over tonight, eh?

Just to contradict that statement, someone should force the Pirates and Rockies (because who cares?) to draft guys named Hollandaise and Molè

That's nothing. You know how much Carl Pavano stole from Cashman?

Since when did Deadspin become the Puritan Post? There's more finger wagging here than a fat man getting a rectal exam.

This is because Leitch gave you shit the other day, right?

I'm pretty sure I would have never agreed to be a Deadspin commenter if I knew I'd be making a living

Olbermann looks like he can be bought off from offenses like these with breakroom donuts

As a Giants fan, I was sort of half-hoping for the 49ers to pull it out just so Jim Harbaugh could unwisely pull some sort of braggadocio stunt on Tom Coughlin and end up with his neck arteries ripped out onto the Candlestick Park turf. I am sad this didn't happen.

Am I a terrible person for saying he looks like someone who was molested?

Ah, so they detained you against your will and violated your civil rights. But did they share any opinions about Michael Vick?

Eli's TV has the Cartoon Network bug screen-burned in the lower right corner. He lost the remote months ago, never bothered looking for it. Doesn't even know how to turn it off, but that's ok because Nabisco pays the electric bill.

"OH WHAT A DROP OF PREMATURE EJACULATE JUST CAME OUT! WHO BUT!"

I once saw a roulette ball hang on the edge of the rim wheel for eight minutes. Of course, no one touched it, and when it finally dropped into a number, virtually everyone at the table won their bets. So.

Dan finally has something to ram back into Boomer's face the next time Boomer brings up Super Bowl rings

What, this isn't Daulerio's beat?

If only this one guy was a more responsible person, the Redskins would be contending for a playoff spot right now.

@IronMikeGallego: Reasonable doubt! Always had trouble with the assumption that stupid-ass OJ was suddenly in and out of there like the freaking CIA taking out a South American druglord and then somehow made all the hard evidence disappear.