Nah, I’m just going to do something that’s actually helpful instead of bullying nonpartisan organizations for little girls.

Oh, spare us the bullshit.

He’s a murderer, a terrorist, an unapologetic racist, and an evil piece of shit.

The Aristocrats!

But hes a huge fan of GoBots....

“Imagine a senior, who has paid four years of Stanford tuition.”

“Imagine a senior, who has paid four years of Stanford tuition.”

Ariana prefers to be objectified as an infant, a sexy infant.

I know, right? Exhausting. One could say it’s a...I don’t know....burden?

As a Brit, I was disappointed Manchester-by-the-Sea wasn’t a movie about climate change.

One of the few “skills” I possess in this life is being able to spot plastic surgery a mile away. But I had no idea that Nicole Kidman had implants!

To pen an authentic and intellectual cinema review – the kind worthy of publication in America’s snootiest airport magazine – one must remember to include countless, such as it were, asides and clauses, seemingly without a purpose other than rendering one’s prose an inarticulate gruel of half thoughts, all while…

Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others.

If you can think of a better way, I’d like to hear it.

Bob Dole doesn’t need this!

What is that, some sorta tube?

Whenever someone mentions Bob Dole I just cant stop thinking about the exchanging of long protein strands.

I don’t know about Santa Claus, but Saint Nicholas was clearly a Klingon.

Scaramucci, Scaramucci will you do the fandango?