I thought the Myan civilization was in Central America, at least until the Spaniards showed up.

I wonder if his favorite emo band is Panic! at the White House. I hope it isn't Fall Out Boy.

Maybe he'll cut himself, like an emo lawn.

These guys deserve a dozen Vanilla Nut Taps.
—-Casey Affleck.

Just… no.

Old guys like Joe probably still call them "brodies."

Well, I certainly have the feeling I've been cheated.

I support this.

♫Right now ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
I am an anti-Christ
I am an anarchist
Don't know what I want
But I know how to get it
I want to destroy the ISIL♪

Pirates of the Caribbean: What's The Most You Ever Lost On A Coin Toss?

Maybe Javier can use his captive bolt pistol from No Country for Old Men on Depp and we can be done with this series.

Do they even teach civics anymore? From the ignorance of the way things are supposed to work in this country that I observe, I thought they had phased it out decades ago..

In the '20s and '30s, we were mostly worried about getting annihilated by armies of giant robots that shot heat rays from their eyes, since we didn't have nuclear weapons to worry about until after WWII.

He has people for that. The best people!

Just us and the cockroaches, baby!

The earliest national event I can remember was JFK's assassination (I was 4), so I missed out on the Missile Crisis. But there's a great John Goodman movie called Matinee that takes place during that event, that I would like to think conveys the way people reacted to the threat of nuclear death. Plus, it was pretty…

All these things will be gone once the ICBMs fly, so there is hope (of a certain kind).

Yeah, there was a nice break there during the Clinton and Obama years, and as horrible as Bush was I wasn't worried that he had the nuke football at his disposal and might actually use it. Now I get to enter my golden years with the same fears I had in the 60s, 70s, and 80s. Too bad I'm not that into nostalgia.

The old phrase "If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself" is quite applicable to me. Hell, I spent my teens, 20s and 30s expecting to die in a nuclear holocaust.

….and the Department of Defensiveness rolls into action.