He could be our Colonel Moodus, and we could be his Chief White Halfoat.

We're doomed. DOOMED, I say! (Not sarcasm)

Facts are simple and facts are straight
Facts are lazy and facts are late
Facts all come with points of view
Facts don't do what I want them to
Facts just twist the truth around
Facts are living turned inside out
Facts are getting the best of them
Facts are nothing on the face of things
Facts don't stain the furniture
…

They should call it X-Boys!!!

I knew that all along. No, really!

Will Captain Willard get laid by the Frenchwoman on the rubber plantation like in Apocalypse Now Redux?

Plus, Nimrod was the name of a British sub-hunting aircraft that flew for the RAF for about 40 years.

Let me run on down to the Home Depot and get you a shrubbery.

I don't care about Slayer, I want to know what Avenged Sevenfold think about the new president.

Two things can be one thing.

Lone Star, here in the Lone Star state.

I quit drinking beer several years ago so I could spend more time drinking wine and hard liquor. A month or so ago I tried to drink one and it tasted as awful as the first beer I had when I was about 12 years old. Moral of the story for you youngsters: never stop drinking beer.

Back in the late 80s or early 90s, I saw a TV ad for Schaefer that used that old jingle. But I guess it was the tenor of the times that caused them to replace "having more than one" with "out to have some fun." Just didn't seem right.

Mandatory.

Dan Draper approves!

Friday was a work day, after all!

Hell, I got up last night to take a leak and my liver was already in there throwing up in the toilet.

Also, I'm going to miss clean air and clean water.

Pretty soon, a bumblebee won't be worth a plugged nickel.

Fifth. Of single malt.