Sir, this is an abandoned Barnes and Noble.

I fully expect a statement along the lines of ‘The remaining Pythons, having seen the incredible outpouring of affection for Terry, assume that our future deaths will only see increasing accolades, and so we will be engaging in a fight to the death to determine which Python dies last and therefore receives the most…

Marvel movies have scores??

“What? I’ve never called you Sis before? You’re right. It is weirdly clunky and expositional. I mean, I know you’re my sister, so who am I saying it for? Weird.” - Fran Smith, American Dad

Incorrect; none of these cars have spoilers.

Damn it, I don’t care what anyone says — I’ve been head over heels in love with Episode IX since the first teaser and the title reveal (and, I guess, the announcement that it would be Abrams rather than the snide, soulless automaton who made those horrible Jurassic Park sequels).

Ha! No.
This was decidedly an Old Man Can’t Use Technology problem.
My browser is glitched and won’t display embedded tweets. Simply viewing it in a different browser plainly revealed the depths of my stupidity.

They’re all just pale copies of Cesar Romero.

I thought The Hangover was funny enough, but that Dowd line was probably funnier.

Pee Wee’s Big, Loud, “HEARD ANY GOOD JOKES LATELY!?” at the MTV Movie awards should be lesson one in how a white man gets scandaled and comes back with humility and humor rather than becoming a humorless aggrieved prick.

In retrospect the first clue that Chris is in the skinsuit is when Linda requests a fitness centre; gotta have a gym to go to if someone starts asking awkward questions or tries to confide.

I have to give them credit for the ingenious scene where the cops grab Gabriel only to be stabbed repeatedly.

I maintain that Frank Gorshin’s Riddler did more to influence the modern TV and movie Jokers than Romero’s Joker actually did, laugh included.

oh yeah dude. huge oversight on my part not including a lengthy aside disavowing ariana grande in this post. I'll get right on that 

Part of me wants Fred to come back and address our government today. The rest of me thinks that such a thing would be unnecessarily cruel to the man. 

Solomon Grundy want pants too.

THEY ARE SO GOOD WE’D EAT THEM RAW BUT EATING RAW SUBS IS BARBARIC.

My son was six when this came out and had seen some of the other movies at home, but got a little freaked out by some of the scarier scenes, so I didn’t take him to this one either. I saw it, drove home, told him and my wife to get dressed, and drove right back to the theater with them. I watched him instead of the…

I was forever confusing him with Jon Erik Hexum, who was a tragic story of his own.

Yes, but as a combination of the two shows, it’s “Yeeehaaaaw?”