My first thought also! Never let a silly thing like causing a major publicity nightmare get in the way of some good ole’ customer abuse!

The most surprising part about all of this is that Hertz didn’t try to immediately arrest all of the customers.

When every single headline, social media comment, and news story is virtually indistinguishable from The Onion these days... mine’s broken.

i doubt they could find a dictionary

Haven’t seen an encyclopedia advertised on TV in forever. User name checks out, I guess!

I’ll be honest, a three-ring meth head circus sounds like something the Uber rich do before hunting them for sport.

If I was gonna brainwash somebody, the first thought I would implant is that 5G doesn’t actually do that.

and robbing the spectators

The couldn’t find their ass with both hands and a flashlight. 

You’ve given this too much thought. lol.

Got some bad news for everyone. Apparently the audio controls on the captured UFO at Area 51 are all capacitive touch, and the climate controls are buried two menus down in the touch screen. Also, it’s almost impossible to turn off traction control.

Those idiots couldn’t find a fact in an encyclopedia haha

The next four years are going to be like going to a huge three-ring circus where none of the performers have any training and are also on meth. 

What’s a dictionary?

You mean you don’t believe potato footage that may or may not be easily manipulated from True Patriotic Believers™ in 2024? The 5G is to brainwash us, not to send high quality video from our phones.

You drank lead based paint chips through the garden hose, didn’t ya?

Yep!  If the US government had found evidence of aliens, he would 100% have blabbed it publicly by now.  Ergo, there ain’t any such evidence.

Public hearings would be really compelling entertainment, though. And keep them distracted from doing actual things. 

As I joked in 2016, the *only* reason to vote for the TFG was to find out if there were actually aliens. Man absolutely can’t keep his mouth shut.

It’s weird that people still believe this nonsense. We’re all carrying high-resolution, internet-enabled cameras on our person at all times, including (and especially) on the shitter, we’d have video evidence if it existed to be had.