bellydancer

6/17/16

G-d forbid I ever lost my burner key, “JadedFuck” would definitely be an appropriate alternate handle.

6/17/16

This is dangerously close to Girl Scout Cookies you have to bake yourself.

6/16/16

I definitely want to get my weight loss tips from the waif star of the most racist show on TV.

6/16/16

Are you unfamiliar with flowers?

6/16/16

This is so confusing to me. I wear yoga pants to yoga, sweat my ass off, toss them in the hamper when I get home, and do laundry 5 days later. They’ve never smelled like anything different than all my other clothes. Are other people doing something weird? Do I have magical sweat glands? What’s the deal here?

6/16/16

I work out in yoga pants or leggings and I then wash them. They never stink. I’m confused as to why there is a whole “thing” about avoinding stinky clothes.

6/15/16

UGH THEY WOULD TOO! Whenever an animal vomits in the house it is a race against the clock to clean it before the dog does.

6/15/16

Talk about gilding the lily. All a bloomin’ onion needs is a dipping sauce or two...

6/15/16

That’s like if a cat vomited and then your dog ate it and then shat it back out.

6/15/16

Sashimi is sex on a plate.

6/15/16

Worse...a meatloaf disguised as a cake. I hate meatloaf...she used “mashed potato icing” and I wanted to cry.

6/15/16

Would eat. But then again I’d eat most things. Food is good.

6/15/16

I love gummi burgers:

6/15/16

Next time I get take out, I’ll order a bucket of fried PETA President Ingrid Newkirk

6/15/16

I don’t discriminate against chickens. I welcome chickens of all colors onto my plate after being thoroughly cooked.

6/15/16

But does his inner goddess dance a merengue?

6/15/16

Tom Cruise is leaving Scientology because he’s “so smitten” with an actress named Annabelle Wallis, his 31-year-old costar in the upcoming reboot of The Mummy.

6/1/16

AUGH. Less erotica featuring Matt Lauer please.

5/12/16

As someone who is plus sized AND also small chested (I’m a A), finding a fucking bra is hard as shit for me (and some other people I know). Busty women aren’t the only people who have a hard time finding a bra, and skinny women aren’t the only people who are small chested and benefit from these, so maybe give it a…

5/12/16

So the fashion world has made something popular for smaller chests. Again.