I guess as long as women are valued only for what they look like, it's NBD if they die trying to meet the standard. Better dead than less pleasing to someone else's eye, right?

Is there a Kardashian filter that removes all personality from your photo?

And a fingernail breaking.

Holy crap. How hot is Chummy?

I wasn't the bride, but I was a bridesmaid in a party where a fellow bff to the bride was kicked out. The bride and I were recent converts to a conservative religion, one where the other gal had been a member her entire life. The bride and I were both engaged while the bff wasn't in a relationship, and she had a…

Can we get a list of all the crimes we can get away with committing if we quit our jobs afterward?

Can we put Brandon Wade and Phyllis Schlafly in a room together? I have a feeling the result would look something like this:

My husband relapsed and lied to me about it. I am heartbroken and don't want to go into details about it. Can I get your favorite "fuck you" gifs? My soul craves them right now.

God bless you. I do love Her Majesty, which is why this is totally my roller derby name. You know, if I ever get a pair of skates and actually do roller derby.

I just... Hm. I guess I would be interested to see the transcript of the conversation he had with himself that concluded with, "Why, yes! Yes, the world DOES want to know my opinions regarding the marriage of Beyoncé and Jay-Z!"

I assure you that it is one of the highest compliments I can extend, as someone with a super delightful Dad.

Wait, what? Why are you in the grays?

It breaks my heart that Dad-humor never gets enough stars.

"Girlchums" sounds like a delicious crunchy snack that I would keep in my bag for those times when I get spontaneously hangry, but no worries! I've got some Girlchums! Nomnomnom.

I want a thermos with "I have an educational blog" printed on it. I feel like that would get me as close as I can get to greatness.

Joke's on you.

no no no no no. THIS is what they want you to do.

I think it's pretty awesome that Tasha McCauley was able to find a decent trophy spouse. Well done.

My little gladiator was born this year too. She can help make future years better with your wee one.

It really sucks that so many of us feel we need permission to love our bodies because the cool table has changed the shape requirement. That shape will always change, and it's about time we emphasized what bodies do rather than how visually appealing they are to someone else.