Wait, you want the poem to fit in a fucking moral coda about how the speaker of the poem is in the wrong and has learned his lesson about cultural/culinary appropriation?

I’m asking for people to think before they write stupid things on the Internet. To consider whether or not their emotional reactions are valid given the evidence in front of them. Sometimes they are. Sometimes they aren’t. Sometimes intellectual reasoning trumps an emotional reaction.

This idea that we’re supposed to privilege a bad, uninformed reader’s gut emotional response to a text over an informed reader’s intelligent, nuanced understanding is ludicrous. Intellectual reasoning is the tool we as human beings have developed in order to raise ourselves above the instinctual, limbic/autonomic…

No but seriously how about expecting readers to approach texts with more intelligence and skepticism instead of asking writers to dumb themselves down to readers who can’t understand simple literary concepts like irony and the distance between the author and the speaker?

I’d share your concern, but as an Irish-American, I’m still reeling from Jonathan Swift’s A Modest Proposal, so I can’t be of any help.

Like most sixth graders, the author of this report fails to consider that the author and speaker are not necessarily the same person and that the author might be using the poem to critique the speaker’s perspective.

I’m not saying he’s in congress because of his appearance, you illiterate turnip. I’m saying that if a woman ran for office looking comparable to him, she’d never be given a chance. If a woman ran for public office to the left of Kucinich, she’d be laughed out of Berkeley City Council meetings. Bernie can be Bernie…

The intangible personal qualities that make Bernie endearing to his supporters (his angry-uncle yelling, his finger-wagging, his bedhead, his rumpled clothing) would be seen as disqualifying if a woman had them. But then, we’ll never know because a woman who dressed herself and carried herself in a manner comparable…

That you think Elizabeth Warren would qualify as a “Bernadette” I think is telling. She’s closer to Clinton in politics, style and manner — and is even to the right of Clinton on a number of domestic issues. That shouldn’t come as a surprise — she identified as a Republican through the mid-90s. She’s a buttoned-up…

Reminds me of some of Danny MacAskill’s cool videos:

Yeah, Hillary supporters are definitely the ones with the volatile, unprecedentedly-crazed internet presence and the need to comment on anything the rival candidate does.

Watching those children talk with full-throated confidence about their desire to meet Kylie Jenner and how they aren’t scared of her bodyguards makes me never want to have children.

Pretty sure she says “neighbor” loudly and looks around like “That was cute, right?”

I know SOMETHING has to open in these Broadway houses, but I don’t envy anyone forced to open their new musical in the same year as Hamilton. Goodbye, Tony dreams.

As something of an amateur Mark Driscoll expert (I wrote a pilot centered around a Mark Driscoll-esque character) there’s very little here that’s new. The “Nobody Trying to Tell Everybody About Somebody” was his falsely-modest pitch back in the Mars Hill days, the focus on “small-groups” as a means of “building…

You’re everything that’s wrong with America.

Totally. I’ve bought backup pairs on Amazon since my first, but I’ll be eternally grateful to the nice lady at JackRabbit who found the right shoe for my weird feet. Paying $15 extra for that first pair was worth it.

No, this is really good advice. If a salesperson works with you, analyzes your stride, provides you with a half-dozen options, goes back to check if it’s in a slightly bigger size or a different color and finds a shoe you like, going on to Amazon to save $15 is a dick move. Don’t be a dick.

Just because a driver deluded himself that he’s a good enough driver to handle a 95-100mph vehicle doesn’t mean the government should sanction it. I’m sure the tailgater in this video saw himself as a confident, strong driver with good control over his car. The moment a challenge or crisis hit, he crashed it.

Tell me about other states now. I sometimes drive in other states.