Even a crow won’t eat a dead cat.

You should replace your girlfriends with cats. Much cheaper in the long run.

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

Two words. Pot brownies.

I didn’t see anything here about having a good martini recipe.

Any idea about whether MS will share this for older machines running XP? I know it also depends on whether it can run it (CPU, memory, etc). I have Win7 on one PC and XP on two other ones, just never got around to updating them. Now XP is officially dead, so I’m either going to attempt Win10 or go Linux.

Thank god it was a Suzuki and not a real bike.

I have a great background noise generator. They’re called Motörhead.

I didn’t read this far enough. I skipped the ‘empty the jar’ part. Now I have to clean the mayo off my Rolexes and Krugerrands.

Haha. My wife just surrenders and says ‘You win.” Then I get to do the dishes. This doesn’t seem to work as well for me as it does for her. On the other hand, I don’t mind doing the dishes.

A lot of people make their own vests.

Very disappointing. First Winamp dies, now Grooveshark. Grooveshark was a great place to look for new music. Someone would share some names of who they’ve been listening to or maybe a band would pop up in a story online, I could go to Grooveshark and find a whole lot of stuff. They were the only ones to have any…

Aside from the issues with water temperature, you also get the aftertaste of anything brewed previously unless you seriously clean it out and even then you may still detect a trace of coffee. I like both, my wife can’t stand coffee - the smell of good dark roast makes her physically ill - so we keep a kosher brewing…

I’m no longer afraid of bears, either.

Also, the Gibson company that makes the pots and pans above is not the guitar maker. FYI.

Also, the Gibson company that makes the pots and pans above is not the guitar maker. FYI.

Interesting. I also use berries to remove the smell of lemon juice from my hands.

Didn't work for me. Some states have really uptight rules about who can and can't practice dentistry.

A clown, a priest, three midgets, a horse, a robot, a penguin and Donald Trump walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this? Some kind of a joke?"

I have a junk drawer. It's called a garage. It's almost full.

Are you sure this isn't a ruse to get us to compromise our own gmail accounts?