I thought that was a good idea until I realized that toilet paper tube was hanging next to a toilet until the paper was gone. Glah. I use velcro strips.

My strategy is to keep one cable or adapter per type. They accumulate exponentially, especially with a household that has a bunch of devices that are upgraded as needed (or affordable).

Thank’s. This is good information. 

You know, with a big hat.

Every time I hear some comedian talking about pushing boundaries and apologizing for possibly offending overly sensitive people, all I hear is the same tired shit they’ve been selling since vaudeville.

When we last checked, the driver was reloading the truck, preparing to roll the bones again to make the point on a hard way hop. Frank Sinatra is impressed.

The only situation I remember being kind of awkward was this time I had to take all my snakes out of the overhead bin because some guy named Jackson started freaking out about “MF snakes!” and trying to hit them with his carry on.

I’ll have to defer to Terry Pratchett here. “All fungi are edible. Some fungi are only edible once.”

I had one of those new Tesla self-driving prototypes in Montreal about two weeks ago. I looked out my window one morning to see it was gone. Almost at the same time, I got a call from the Mounted Police that my car had been caught making a run for the warmer southern climes...without driver or passengers. Are they…

Well that’s a relief. I thought they fired him because he never shuts up. Ever.

Is there a go-fund-me to raise money for a Low Ass Bridge historical marker? I want a t-shirt. 

For sure the truck driver made his own trouble there, but the driver of that white SUV just waited for the light and then went on their way like self-centered asshole. Instead of, say, pulling over to see whether anyone was hurt or needed help.

Yeah, Mars. I like the sound of that.

Are there goats? There should be goats.

This story made me feel indigo.

Another shower tip. Whenever I buy a new shower curtain liner, I’ll buy two and keep one stashed. That way when I have guests and the current liner is mucky I don’t have to run out for a new one. (Wait, is this Lifehacker or Hints By Heloise?)  

So does the DNC ask for a discount for the Clinton lists for Michigan, Florida, Iowa, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Arizona, Georgia, Indiana, Missouri, North Carolina, Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Idaho, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Montana, Nebraska, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota,…

I’ll just leave this hair...I mean HERE.

OK, now we know this is Fake News.

And here I was feeling all cool because I finally figured out how to get some furniture in my house and roast crabs on an open fire.