If I met someone in real life who looked like me but introduced himself as Kwame bin Muhammad and told me about being a white guy adopted by a woman from Ghana and a man from Iran I’d be interested to hear his story. If I’m in the middle of a mediocre show with aspirations of greatness and a minor character repeatedly…

That scene where Reese goes after the coal supporter, I thought “Am I watching liberal thoughtporn or something? ‘If I just yell facts at this guy loud enough he’ll abandon his misinformed conservative ways!’” It was like a VHS copy of Jeff Daniels’ “America” monologue from Newsroom, which itself was a desperate grasp…

Now if we just can get all the streaming services to show nothing between 4am and 7am other than Creflo Dollar, The 700 Club, and 30-minutes commercials for Sham-Wow, OxyClean, and Bowflex we’ll have successfully reset the world to 2003.

I’m glad you’ve found something you can feel so passionately about. I respectfully disagree with your analysis.

Except there’s that scene with Martin Short playing Basically Woody Allen, and the scene frames Carrell as well-intentioned and somewhat sympathetic to the victims in his ambition to do a documentary compared to Short who is a full-on creeper. I got to the end of that scene and I was thinking “Hold on. Mitch is the…

This show is the Walking Dead of non-genre “Peak TV”. A quick glance will make you think it’s prestigious, but a few minutes of watching will make you wonder “Is this actually garbage?” and an entire episode will confirm your suspicious. And then you wait for the second episode, because maybe you’re wrong. Nope. Ok,…

Sounds like an opportunity for Li’l Caesars to start a social media-based frenzy with a Goldfish pizza. (Nobody wants your Cheese Nips pizza, Papa Johns!)

Baseball: A game invented before moving pictures, when people would take any excuse to get out of their homes and be mildly distracted from the tedium and awfulness of 19th Century society. A common expression among baseball attendees during these early days was “Hey! It’s better than losing a hand at the factory!” To…

I guess they had po’ boys. I’ve never ordered one. I only ever went in for the tenders and fries.

Until this summer, Popeye’s basically only carried bone-in chicken pieces, boneless tenders, and popcorn shrimp. Yeah, it seems like a no-brainer to have a sandwich, but that’s how it was.

Instead of breading, try a 50/50 mix of grated parmesan (the kind in a can) and pulverized pork rinds. Throw in your favorite seasoning. My favorite way to make fried chicken.

The Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge Paradox

Can I interest you in a Strangers on a Train situation with my mother-in-law? The way that woman goes through toilet paper is disturbing. Fold it, Midge! Wadding is wasteful! We’re down half a roll every time you take a squat!

“I think we’re running low on Trader Joe’s Meatless Breakfast Patties. Always good to have some around for the kids. I’ll buy a box.”

Is this where we can talk about people who write Amazon reviews for books and give 1 star because it arrived later than expected or was damaged? Because, ya know, the writer had fuck all to do with how the physical object was delivered.

Hazard warning: If you’re at all predisposed toward anti-social behavior or misanthropy, it can be very tempting to use “I have kids” as the reason you’ve avoided seeing friends and family and allowed your associated depression to consume your life for the last nine months. I’m not saying don’t do it, just know that…

Also, am I in the minority that finds drinking out of glass or metal to be far more pleasing than drinking out of plastic?

No need for Jon Cryer. Lex Luthor has a history of cloning himself and/or dumping his brain into younger, more CW-appropriate bodies.

Both my kids were on the big size and late sleepers, so they had to be induced. Which meant we got to basically schedule their births. Since we live 90 minutes away from the nearest relatives, we were able to pop into the hospital on a Friday and, 8 hours of labor later, send a photo of a baby hand to the family with…

There’s a reason my life is just one long series of fast-burning, abandoned interests and hobbies. Starting when I was 12, I got big into comic books and that’s how I was pigeonholed, so every gift people gave me had some connection to comics. It culminated one year when I was about 17 and an aunt bought me a book on…