This is news because someone was shot on live TV.

I think you literally need to go look up the meaning of the word “literally”

GoFundMe is literally the American healthcare system at this point

One of the reasons I love IT is how matter-of-factly he says this. No animosity, just ‘yeah, we both know how it is’.

It’s called the free market—something you socialist scuzzlords wouldn’t understand! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go watch thousands of children die from pre-existing conditions while shielding my tumescent, three-inch, free-market erection, baby! 

Cool! What position do you play?

Gotta love his bullshit humble brag there in the end:

Are there classy scumbags?

Glad you don’t have to run into him anymore.

You’re right. This comparison is dumb. Crosby’s was way worse.

You’re right, Crosby lined it up and premeditated from a few feet away. Marchand did it with his back to the guy

I believe they were saying things like “you’re just jealous” and “they wear cups haven’t you heard of them?”

fuck any hockey fan with the gall to clutch their pearls tonight and let crosby skate for the same shit last week.

Thanks to email and cell it’s more like 5-9. Fucking technology!

Which is hilarious, because Sarah Palin is only shitting on Kaep for attention.

Might be just you.

I reacted the same way during my presser after my last slo-pitch softball season, except instead of a reporter asking about my noble effort after a heartbreaking defeat, it was basically the drunken wife of one of my teammates spitting nacho bits in my face as she slurrily demanded to know how the fuck I managed to…

Wait so I just read 2/3 of an article just to find out it’s a puff piece praising your favorite team’s fans for being so classy? Fuck you Draper