Yeah but where do the elephants and the giant turtle come in?

Holy shit! They actually changed the article after I wrote this comment! Am I now the Boss of Kotaku?

“They’re annoyed at the enormity at which those things happen, often seeming extremely deliberate in it’s attack on “straight white men”

Oh come on. As a straight white man, absolutely none of those stories with female or minority or LGBTQ even remotely feel like an “attack”. You know why? Because I’m a well adjusted…

This is a hilarious instance to get upset about what you’re claiming though. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is already a deliberate attack on the straight white male protagonist. Scott Pilgrim is not a likable character (that was a big part of why I had mixed feelings about the movie). The point is that he’s a selfish…

Nah, it was actually great, and a majority of the criticism comes from people who can’t process stories they don’t immediately relate to.

Finally, another chance to die on this deeply pedantic hill: but why the hell is the 2010 movie called The Karate Kid? It took place in China, and stars Jackie Chan. This child did not learn karate, he learned kung fu. It’s The Kung Fu Kid.

having some asshat yelling “get good” profanities

“if I’m playing a no-stakes match to unwind after work”

Of course he does, He’s Swedish. Whole damn country is just pale hot people who could be undead. 

$7 for a 4 oz bag of cookies is insane. Sure inflation is making things cost more but that means a family size bag of Oreos(which has four times as much product by weight as these cookies) is going to cost $5 instead of $4.

There are times when being 40+ years old certainly pays off, and this is one of them. I don’t care about Pokimane, her streams, how she makes her money, her “healthy” products or her half-assed apologies. I also don’t care about the people that were upset by her comments, the people that complain about the price of…

I can’t help but feel this is the dumbest story I’ve read about all week.

“Luc Besson Presents: Wellington and the Parliament of a Thousand Lies”

Scott denies that his mother was a hamster, but is noticeably silent on the subject of his father smelling of elderberries.

French GQ responded to Scott’s comments by farting in his general direction.

I interpret his “I’m sorry he got hurt” as “I’m sorry for myself that I got caught”

If the police were there when the guy was swinging the hammer why didn’t they FUCKING SHOOT HIM

Fuckin absolutely bonkers that this awful, stupid shit comes back up like this. I lurked KiA for a while just out of morbid curiosity and it really was a collection of some of the dumbest, most reactionary idiots around. I still remember when they treated Gamasutra (RIP that old name) and its press release section…

We really do live in a time of diminished personal accountability.  “I’m sorry that he got hurt.”  He didn’t “get” hurt.  YOU HURT HIM.  

The problem is you’re expecting actual journalism out of Kotaku. The people capable of that are long gone.