Your constant use of parentheses and hyphens makes reading your posts feel like driving down a pothole ridden road in a car with a shot suspension.

Somehow, routinely dredging up unidentifiable morsels of past meals from between their teeth gives people a sense of self-righteousness that they feel find about lording over the rest of us more casual, shit-I’m-going-to-the-dentist-soon-better-start-flossing flossers.

What is your infatuation with writing sentences with extremely verbose asides crowbarred into the middle of it using dashes?

It reads horribly. Stop it.

The fuck is a roundhouse punch?

Maybe you lack the necessary nostalgia to find the conceit all that appealing, falling as you do right into a narrow age bracket that cared about the original game (television show? which one came first?) neither ironically nor enthusiastically, or maybe you’re still trying figure out what’s so funny about the…

Plus it’s season right now.

Butter, by definition, cannot ruminate.

hundreds of milliions in revenue

I mean, what percentage of people at a baseball are happy to see a game go to extra innings, besides Will Leitch?

“He cares about the kids and this community,” Louis Murphy, the camp host, who catches passes from Winston from a living, is quoted as saying.

For a Hannah Keyser article, that’s the baseline. I don’t characterize it as egregious.

Also, she’s not writing about cats or going fruit picking for a bachelor party. I’ll take it.

Hannah, you wrote a coherent article about sports without any egregious typos. Is everything okay?

Also, the entire article could use an editor. Dear god.

It’s easy to like James T. for his convincing incredulity and for being someone is not Chad and also not talking to or about Chad.

This is a new low after your medical information disaster of a post. How far can this ship sink?

I wish I had a mandoline at the ready after wasting three minutes of my life reading this worthless article...

Yeah it was super hard work trying to find a science museum that doesn’t take itself too seriously in my city.

Then I ended up finding one by pure luck!

“The Sharks’ second defensive lapse was even easier to spot.”

Millennials shouldn’t be worried about peaking too early. They should be much more concerned with finding a science museum that doesn’t take itself too seriously or which farm to go fruit picking at.

Oh man with all the money from classic Apple gear just imagine how many times you could go to a science museum that doesn’t take itself too seriously, or how many fruit you could pick, or how many movies you could marathon!