Unfortunately the same affliction has followed Greg Oden since his days at Ohio State.

I can't wait for the controversial Dos Equis ad that only runs on Duke's campus where they mention that the World's Most Interesting Man's rape victims thank him.

Pictured: IMG and his balrog

Two-part DUAN:

That same line of thinking led Roger Goodell to spend a few nights in the Castro district of San Francisco roleplaying a pig bottom before he handed down his ruling on the Saints' bounty program.

"The Jets should consider trading for Tim Tebow only if they are looking for a new starter at team chaplain."

So basically it's a frat party in a house that hasn't been vacuumed in a few years?

This show is so amazing.

God dammit. I was just in DC a couple weeks ago. WHERE WAS THIS THEN?!?!

I'M SORRY BRO

You say that like it's a BAD thing. Ask me sometime to explain my theory on how a bar on Thanksgiving night/night after Thanksgiving is the best time to pick up an emotionally scarred, sexual dynamo.

I took those last year (the year before?) at the lake here in town. It's getting close to being baby duck season again soon, so I'll have to keep my eye out for them again.

Aspiring actress? Soooo....she's a waitress/hostess/stripper?

As long as she's not a cutter and her hygiene is fine, it's worth a shot. I've only known two girls socially who were big into anime/manga and both of them had a combination of those two fun traits.

Photo DUAN:

What are you talking about? Speak English. This is AMERICA, we speak AMERICAN HERE SON.

"Just another example of some Deadspin jock writer coming in here and ruining our community with his fratboy potty mouth posts and bacon-censoring idiocy"

But seriously, I get the feeling there is a strong chance he may be crippled in the course of a game.

Hotmail DUAN brought to you by Hotmail Graymail protection: Hotmail Bar Graph edition:

We all the only reason UweBollocks is considered handsome is that he's wearing a Bevraj skinsuit.