I believe it's called "Prices vary by location"

All of this Gawker insularity and defense of fauxintellectualism's golden calf makes me really, really hope that A.J. Decides to crosspost Drew's upcoming shit-centric Jambaroo and make it the keystone story on Gawker all day.

It's not a league offense if your bodyguard sodomizes an overzealous fan with a Colt 1911.

You know how i know this is hypothetical? No matter how blessed Tim Tebow is, there is no way his boys could make the swim from Skip's throat.

The delegates all had finally reached the point where they could (mostly) all agree that no one gave a fuck what Notre Dame thought any more.

Old, wizened and bearded Brett Favre would totally swap young Brett Favre's vicodin for Enzyte.

The Todd Haley meme is one of the best in awhile.

After seeing the mustache Rick Jackson, President of the Tournament of Roses, was sporting, he was immediately subpoenaed by Pennsylvanian prosecutors.

Tim Tebow looks like either the world's most or least convincing transsexual.

If you wouldn't sleep with Linda Cohn you're not a true American.

I like your words. Now, convince me I can drink until and through the holiday weekend.

A Woodford Reserve on the rocks with a Hemingway cigar.

I really wish I hadn't stopped drinking on weekdays. I had a disheartening dream last night about the girl I broke up with a little over a month ago, and I really need a bourbon.

Saturday Night Live. You can watch all the good parts during a normal halftime lull

Apparently it was all staged by the show. What a wonderful idea.

If you want to see how a woman can break a man, this is it right here:

Let's crosspost this with Jezebel

Dickey and Hickey, the best 1-2 combo in the blogosphere.

Don't forget Mr. Hands.

"No, I'm just exploring all my options"