Your greatest mistake as the homeowner was not providing your own hammering.

Upon hearing of this renaissance in Denver fashion, Ricky Williams immediately requested a trade.

Call me when he WINS his first Semi.

I tried to play the video, and it says something about it not being found. How stereotypical for a Korean to go all ninja on us.

The secret to a nice laundry hamper, like good turf, is ample fertilizer.

Lots of grittiness. Lots of football smarts.

Esoteric political question: If Obama got the team that did the ESPN Vick article to do his PR and image branding, do you think he could win the Republican nomination?

If Belichick is anything like the Defense Department, he does it just to justify the ~$54bil billion development cost.

Gary Losse, Chao's partner, went on to start a practice trying to rehabilitate terminal movie careers

Subtly amazing.

Every time Tony Romo is slammed viciously to the turf by a defensive lineman, an angel gets its wings.

I wonder if Early Doucet ever had to endure cruel schoolyard japes about premature ejaculation. How much do you think NFL players (and football players in general) had to deal with common elementary school bullying?

That's brilliant. Nothing like Samuel L. "Motherfucker" Jackson waxing philosophically about epistemology.

Deadspin Comedy Week DUAN!: The Best 2 Minutes of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" ever.

In the debate over who should be more embarrassed about their one-eyed mascot, Ron Artest and the London Olympic Committee will have to call it a draw.

It's a date. What's the rule in Argentina about couple swapping?

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I'd threaten your life, but I'm holding out for Hope Solo to respond to the severed ear I sent her.