Amazing write-up, Emma. I plan on sharing it with all of my drunk, degenerate friends in an attempt to further their appreciation of soccer.

Ironically enough, if you Google Image Search "lemon party" this guy may be responsible for some of the more interesting results.

A horrible, horrible +1

To keep him as safe and injury-free as possible, Diego Maradona has gone to extreme measures to keep Messi in a secure location before matches.

U-S-A!!! U-S-A!!!

She is going to be a tired woman.

If you can't laugh at a firebombing joke, the terrists have won

I'm sorry, I plan on taking a cue from Pia Sundhage and calling in Alex Morgan in 2/3 of the way through my marriage as relief. I can part with Wombach though.

When Hope Solo and I get married, we're playing video of that shootout in our wedding video. And probably during the honeymoon too.

With all this constant talk of how warm it is in Dresden today, you would think they haven't seen a heat wave like this since February 14th, 1945

The extra "CC" is for "Constantly on Crutches"

Well, it looks like the people of New York have a psychological compulsion to give unwarranted gifts to Jeter.

(And Bob Barker was there.)

Post your favorite instrumental piece, be it classical or pop or rock or metal.

Let me know what he says.

Dating a guard is a good idea.

What's her name? Does she like disarmingly charming, short and muscular Midwesterners?

Thank her again, and use some of the money to buy her something nice.

+1