My mole has been assimilated. Your destruction is nigh.

Grab his cell and start texting his guy friends for booty calls.

I'm pretty sure the new design runs on Flash, which makes it incompatible with your spaceman technology unless it's running in neophyte mobile mode

*tip of the hat*

I'm not entirely sure. I do not particularly care, they're usually just background noise anyway. We entertain ourselves quite well with drinking games

Capitol indeed.

Slice of the Midwest living update:

Sorry to hear that. Enjoy your copious amounts of alcohol tonight.

If you are planning on going back to school in 6 months, the best present you could get him is a night out on the town with any hot coeds you run across in your studies.

Worse news: Its popularity directly reflects on the intelligence of our nation.

18 days? Old news. That's like 4 months in the lifetime of dogfaced-Mark Sanchez-hookups

I don't speak German, but I'm pretty sure this a travel ad for Scotland

Don't go down this road. If you attempt this, Mel Kiper shows up at your door and rapes your wife on a full-sized replica of his draft board

Everyone this year is looking at topping the baseline Vince Young established.

Is there an official or scientific name for the phenomena of sports fans' universal display of heart wrenching disappointment, whereby they place both hands behind their head and lower their gaze to the floor? Because it's the most satisfying thing to see as a fan of the other team, and the most soul crushing feeling…

Denard Robinson is UM poison, even from the stands.

Madison, Wisconsin reacts to RedNed's banning

@JohnnyDrinky - Where did you hear this? I want details and a link, if possible.

I want that thread to never end.

@WashingtonForeskins: Flawless.