@Achiever: Ahhh, yes. That will be amazing. I also look forward to watching Elf and Bad(der) Santa. The Christmas Movie Trifecta

DUAN Best Part of the Holidays Question:

@UweBollocks: I bet you're the life of the Vatican

@lauren_jo: It's a completely different mindset involved with each act. I wouldn't necessarily say the noises are for your benefit, but I have slept with women who expected me to be very vocal. I think they saw sexual taciturnity as an insult to their sexual prowess.

@lauren_jo: Very, very rarely is there any sound. Most men have developed the ability to take care of business in absolute silence. It comes in handy. Pun intended.

@lauren_jo: Bless your inquisitive heart. Your last name isn't Kinsey, is it?

Holy fuck. Brady just got walloped.

@Red Ned: Funny, "monthly cycle" is what Albert Haynesworth calls 5 minutes on a stationary bike

@lauren_jo: I'm not entirely sure. How open are you to field research?

@titansfan78: That's a damn good point. In hindsight, I'd be up for pretty much anything she wants to do to me. After watching her in Chuck and Larry and seeing what she's working with, I'd probably even make out with Kevin James if that's what got her going

@Eddie Murray Sparkles: That's what you get for letting Jessica Biel toss your salad

@pribian: A woman who thinks she can give a good handjob is as delusional as a man who thinks he'd be better at inserting his wife's tampon

Ever since George Steinbrenner died, New York sports figures have lived with the delusion and false sense of security that comes from the belief that they never again would be subjected to demeaning public facials.

I really would like to hear John Salley and Dr. Laura Schlessinger sit down and produce the worst sex advice podcast ever recorded

@AzureTexan: Fleeing the pole to bury your face in a rug? I'm going to start calling you Portia De Rossi

@Forte_Oz._To_Freedom: I'm pretty sure he did just fine once the cameras weren't rolling

That was the best one-act play interpretation of the tanks in Tiananmen Square I've ever seen. All glory to the Divine Communist Party Thespian Arts for the Advancement of The Peoples' Honor

@Phintastic: Maybe I'll submit it to the Jambaroo for Drew. I'd like to hear his angry, ranting thoughts.

@vodkanaut: I think Ulysses S. Grant would be up there, just because he was a mean drunk who would have no moral qualms about murdering tens of thousands of men, let alone 42 other motherfuckers

@Same Sad Echo: The Usual Suspects and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang