Batman: the only "good guy" who keeps a boy in a cave.

If you want good, observant Catholic superheroes you should stick to Marvel. At least until their inevitable "Nightcrawler gets caught molesting an altar boy" storyline.

That's the worst name I've ever heard.

Would you pay… $100? How about $50?

The bullet holes and shattered windows are sure to give you extra street cred.

Or at least Arab-ish. In real life J.C. almost certainly looked a lot more like Osama bin Laden than like any of the white dudes who have portrayed him in Hollywood films.

Ghost Rider would seem more logical what with the motorcycles and whatnot.

From what I understand of Turing's quirky personality they could probably edit the whole movie together out of unused "Sherlock" footage.

Just Shoot Me, Then Repeat Eight More Times

It's a stretch to call that film the "Original" version since this source material has been made and re-made in various forms for the better part of a century now.

Tomorrow, tomorrow,
I love you, tomorrow
You're only a day away
Even though the concept of a "day" is an arbitrary and meaningless measure of time in the cold void of interstellar space

(Hint: MAD wasn't getting less funny. You were just growing up.)

This is what Blecchstarter was made for!

Son of Lincoln: The Robert Todd Story

What about that guy who has all the powers of a fish? Kids love that guy, right?

It would be worth trying just to see someone try to get that past Sony and Fox's lawyers. "No, man. This is, like, Spidey from another dimension. Totally different dude!

Sadly, most Expanded Universe plotlines are just unoriginal rehashings of all the shit that went down in the original trilogy. More Palpatine! A Skywalker turns to the Dark Side and must be redeemed by a family member! Did someone say GINORMOUS PLANET-DESTROYING SUPER-WEAPON??

It wasn't the Ewoks in ROTJ that were the first warning sign that it was time to abandon the franchise… it was the dudes in that 1984 made-for-TV-movie The Ewok Adventure.

Wait, the dude with the bow & arrow in that movie was named "Hawkeye?" All this time I thought his name was "Hawt Guy." Oh, I've been making an ass out of myself and nobody stopped me!

For supposedly being straight, Cruise sure has a lot of nondisclosure agreements to sign before women are allowed to date him.