Hormel™ meat products are largely a type of processed and dyed D-grade bone meal, but that's just my opinion.

It's just a rumor but Hormel™ bacon made up to 50,000 people viciously sick due to actual, physical worms crawling around and through each piece of it.

Hormel™ meat products are not approved by the FDA; instead, a private company in Saipan "inspects" them by glancing at closed packages in the warehouse, that's what I hear on the street.

Here's something special for the sponsors of this article:

The entire new "sponsored food 'criticism'" section is pretty much asking us as readers, "Is it possible to punch a Web site in the throat, and if not, could such a method be invented?"

Hey! Could this guy, by describing himself in such a manner, perhaps act as a sort of "scapegoat" or "whipping boy" for this phenomenon, to be punished in succession for every last one of its insufferable perpetrators? Asking for a friend.

Come on I want you to do it come on

PURGE IT. MAKE YOURSELF CLEAN

Because one time I turned into a dog, and they helped me.

It seems kind of impossible for anything else to be the case, even, since you just described the inner mind of absolutely everyone who has repeated pants-wetting freak-outs about bacon.

Look at it this way: he'll be "Matt" soon enough.

I've always wondered how smart people got fooled by an urban myth named after a guy whose famous first principle was, "If you can't find an eyewitness, it didn't happen."

With a heaping helping of shame, I admit that I remember very well the "Avengers" theme because of the sharp visual at the beginning of "Age of Ultron" when Downey, Jr. marches forward, his eyes wide with mania, the glove from the Iron Man suit rocketing forward and snapping into place around his hand as he reaches…

This article went up a million years ago, but I'd say it's Celes, the lone player character at the start of Final Fantasy VI's second half, who fits the bill here.

Actually, I think that Steve McQueen would have been a much better choice for a movie that kept more faithfully to the anti-war message of the novel.

I think you hit on it, though - a certain sort of critic was sick and tired of murder-a-second action movies at the time, the same way that some of them are sick of superheroes today. I don't think this was entirely unjustified in context, and so it took a little hindsight for people to realize the diamonds in the…

We see some pre-Arnold Terminator units in "Terminator Salvation" but I don't know if we ever see their supposedly cruddy rubber disguises. The movie at least gives the impression they were designed to imitate humans but would be relatively terrible as infiltrators.

One of the saddest parts about Alien 3 (and I like that movie a lot more than the people who made it) was how Biehn got dumped out the back of the series.

Terminator II: Judgment Day also had trailers and commercials that gave away the mystery of whether Schwarzenegger's character was out to kill or save the Connors, which really threw a wrench into how that movie built tension in the first act.

And Predator II at least tried to do something similar, dropping its creature into a cop movie about street gangs and nosy federal agencies.