Uh, you understand that you die if you don't forward those, right? I don't play games with my life, bro.

"No! I must kill the demons" he shouted

You just reminded me of the Caver Ted story. THAT was creepy.

I just realized that the mother was fone. No mystery.

WARNING! Carry on reading! Or you will die, even if you only looked at the word warning! Once there was a little girl called Clarissa, she was ten-years-old and she lived in a mental hospital, because she killed her mom and her dad. She got so bad she went to kill all the staff in the hospital so the -government…

Interesting.

HEE, I'm now picturing the ghost of someone who died during the heyday of MySpace and is now befuddled as to why their ghostly transmissions are never being seen or acknowledged.

When I haunt you I promise I'll only do it on Friendster.

Exactly. My main point of skepticism is that the person it is actually happening to is posting it in a place for scary stories. Some scary noises, sights, dreams, or coincidences? Sure, I'll post those personal experiences on a scary story thread. A creepy thing involving a loved one I lost in a terrible accident? I'd…

Surely you frequent r/shittynosleep?

WHY YOU OPEN THE CURTAINS THEY CAN SEE YOU NOW

I think that these stories aren't necessarily true, but they're treated as true. Like it's a forum rule that commenters can't call out stories as fake, but have to pretend it's true. I spend much more time reading these stories and scaring myself than I should. This one seems really well done though.

The other equivalent would be if someone made a candy in the shape of exaggerated noses and called them "Hebe-y Jeebies."

It scares me that there are people who will think you're serious.

I've done some bodyguard work and I would definitely charge that guy double. Unfortunately, I can only see that feeding his paranoia, which would be the actual reason for charging him double.

It sounds like the most frivolous item ever. Though, now that I think about it, I would assume only narcissistic people with insane amounts of disposable income would commission (or 'buy'/'order', if that's too grandiose a term for a thermos purchase) a monogrammed coffee thermos, so maybe this guy does have some…

I feel like this is now an acceptable response to the more ridiculous comments on Jezebel. EXCUSE YOU, I'M A VERY IMPORTANT PERSON. I SELL MONOGRAMMED COFFEE THERMOSES.

"Well, you never know. I'm a very important person. I sell monogrammed coffee thermoses."