Hopefully they lose so we can finally get rid of Klinsmann.

He makes a strong point. Everybody thinks Aspirin is harmless. But I remember one time I took an Aspirin and ended up driving erratically with briefcase with $29,000 in cash and a bunch of bottles of Aspirin. I was even charged with a DUI. They need to put a warning label on that stuff.

This version of the England squad is completely transformed. They’re full of pace and pressing, and even some creativity.

Pictured: the lead researcher in the NFL’s study.

Transcript of the proceedings:

That said, at least you didn’t say you’re one of those assholes who brakes before signaling. Those people. Oh man. Those people...

Worst Place to Urinate Outside:

It is going to really awkward for Ryan Giggs when he wakes to find Mourinho’s head in his bed and a bloodied Paul Scholes rocking in the corner while repeating “I did it for you Giggsy, I did it for you...”

My mom says I’m a catch.

Marcus Rashford might as well consider himself cut.

I wash mine in vinegar (to pull the sweat out) than in bleach (to get the white color back). I get about a year out of each one before they’re ruined anyway.

If Benfica can grab a score draw in Munich things could get screwy.

And because everyone needs to watch Aubameyang play before he disappears into the Madrid bench next season. The guy is ungodly fast.

I mean what am I gonna do...NOT get drunk and dance my ass off to Thriller? Of course I’m going to do that.

Ah yes, the summer wedding, the secret fear of all us sweaty men.

I'm guessing if they can't find him he was probably an eligible lineman.

The most hilarious scenario is Republicans stop the nomination of a new Justice, Hilary wins and nominates Obama.
I’m pretty sure I’d die laughing.

As far as school...

his 14-year-old son, Drake

It feels like they’re doing everything in their power to make social media about everything except your friends. “Here’s all the important things. They’re from celebrities and brands.”