Out of respect, all local Taco Bells have ordered their flags to be flown at half más

And rooting for the Lions without any direct link is a sign you’re a masochist. Shit, I live here and can’t bring myself to root for the Lions.

And if your favorite teams are the Yankees AND the Cowboys and you live in neither place (although maybe that doesn’t matter) then you are a garbage person with no wiggle room.

Find/replace “probably” with “”

The historicity of Jesus is pretty well established.  Whether you believe he is the son of god is an entirely different matter. 

I dunno, thinking about your mom’s hands usually helps me

I like the New York Yankees and the Detroit Lions and she likes the Dallas Cowboys and the Washington Nationals. Keep in mind if you go the local route for sports team allegiance we live in the Philadelphia area and they are literally the worst sports fans in the world. Is this kid fucked when it comes to sports…

I couldn’t help but read this as a basketball starting 5. In which case I definitely like having Buddha coming off of the bench. Seems like he’d have the temperament to be the quintessential 6th man.

A “shelled” pistachio means it has the shell removed. In yet another inexplicable quirk of the English language, to “shell”, verb, means to remove the shell from a nut, seed or pod. So perhaps his girlfriend assumed the shell had already been removed if he was referring to them as “shelled pistachio”?

I give the edge to historical figures being the most famous. How many people are going to remember somebody like Cher or even Michael Jackson in 200 years?

And I doubt you could Family Feud the name of the current pope

I feel like that whole “No depictions of him ever or woe unto you” thing probably hurts Muhammad in the fame department vs. Jesus who, say what you will, knew how to brand.

Yeah I’m not sure if the guy I pantsed back in they day has a sexual assault case against me or if he himself is guilty of sexual assault because two girls saw it... or if I’m guilty of all three sexual assaults... but one girl said she wasn’t looking so I guess that’s attempted sexual assault.

Point is I’m a felon…

But how would I get my boner?

It’s not only about money though, man. It’s the love of the game... and being told that you’re complete shit and worth more sitting on the bench than in the lineup lol.

This is the moment in this Major League reboot (Major League: O Boy!) when the team goes on an epic run inspired by tearing off the stick-on clothes of the cardboard cutout of Peter Angelos.

So what if he tried to hit Hyde?  He’d have like an 81.7% chance of missing anyway.

This is ridiculous. When, in the history of the sport, has a butt contributed to any type of difficulty holding on to a football.

Bald guy here—started shaving my head at about 35 (maybe should have at 30). As comfortable as I am with my bald-ass head (who knows, if I had hair, I still might shave it for fun), I have to vote that gray hair > no hair.

Sometimes I feel like gray is better than losing it though? Like I know your hair is changing to the Color of Advanced Age, but at least you have hair! And then there are the poor saps who don’t bald symmetrically.