How much do you think my orange baseball is worth?

Every time there is a crime against a Sikh it should be investigated as a stupidity crime. The perp should get extra prison time as well as mandatory junior high social studies classes.

Well, this outta be good....

Seems like there are a lot of people out there who are just waiting for the Supreme Court to decide they can finally marry their dog.

I know satire doesn’t translate well online, and I know if you need to explain a joke it means that it wasn’t a very good one, but you may be the only person who didn’t get it.

Who is to say the exorcism wasn’t successful though? In fact, there is pretty irrefutable evidence that there are exactly zero spirits currently inhabiting her body, so...

Look we will never know what she really meant so just drop it maybe you should be working instead of complaining about Conway’s mistake plus she is probably sorry and Ivanka’s merch is really nice.

Sounds right.

Washington?

They play baseball. Only football and basketball players who help make money for their schools are allowed to punch girls.

That’s why.

I stand corrected.

Really gotta take Drew to task about this toilet paper issue. I think the general consensus from last time was that Drew was insane for using so much, and that if he had to use 5x as much, it’s not a bargain since it costs LESS than 5x as much. Now he’s throwing back some very very questionable math. I’ve never seen…

I was talking about Hot Pockets.

I know it says “Not for Resale,” but Hot Pockets should be charged with attempted murder if they expect you to eat all 96 yourself.

-1 for “San Fran.”

That’s definitely intent to sell. 

Should have stuck with Inside the Shaqtor’s Studio. Would have been a good segment to show flopping.

Read a book. And I don’t want to come across as holier-than-thou- on a plane is probably the only time I read a book. And drink ginger ale. Ginger all without the little “o” shaped airplane ice cubes just isn’t the same. Read a book, drink ginger ale, and just space out for long periods of time and you’ll be there…