“Who’s got the big mouth now, Billy bass?”

This is ridiculous because it in effect uses a ‘race memory’ as an excuse for his behavior. If the writer had said something like ‘AP was quite possibly abused as a child himself and that would make him more likely to act the same’ and left it at that, there wouldn’t be such a problem.

*Pushes glasses back onto bridge of nose* Actually, outside of the Bible/Torah/Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, there’s no historical evidence that large numbers of Jewish people were ever enslaved in Egypt. So no, not okay. Now go back to studying tax law.

My great, great great great great great great great granparents were slaves too! Can I punch my little brother in the gut? Just asking.

now that’s how you record cell phone video.

He tested positive for the blood booster ALPO but says his sample was mishandled by the Lab.

Man, ask a guy to give you the number of an escort and he gets all pissy…

“Used to work as an ice cream man”

4. Has Ben Affleck ever met an autistic person?

It was undoubtedly the rich guy and, without any suggestion or coaching by my attorney, I also want to say that I am 99% certain that he was acting within the scope of his duties as an employee such that his employer, who happens to have a ten-figure net worth, may be liable for his actions.

NFL doctors agree the two men are not suffering from concussions.

This has made my day EVEN BETTER.

That type of logic is a pillar of the Round-Earth conspiracy. Everyone knows that the world really works on Asteroids rules, wherein if you travel off the edge of one screen you appear from the edge of the next.

I guess that now all those Europeans can stop accusing the USA of poor gun control.

I’m sincerely excited for the NC State coaching search. I imagine their initial list will have Calipari, Stevens, Miller (Archie and/or Sean), and Self, as per the Wolfpack way.

when you join you get some nice hand towels that you must never ever use, as they are for guests only

I wish my aptitude test in high school had recommended “Professional Athlete’s Former Business Manager.” Those dudes always make fat stacks.

I doubt he has the ability to just cut a check if he’s going to jail for not cutting a check.

I hope somebody is there to remind the burglars of the mess they left when they went away.

His leg is going to be 50 Shades of Purple.