I don’t understand the demand for a signature you did not obtain on your own. A signed 3X5 of an athlete that you bought online only commemorates the time someone else met that guy. So weird.

Gonna go back this afternoon and burn a bag of popcorn?

They’re like drug dealers. You’ll never get rid of them as long as there’s a demand. Who the fuck are the idiots spending good money to own a signed ball cap or sneaker, anyway?

How many men out there have been in a situation where a few inches was the difference between triumph and heartbreak?

“We only believe in sex among the unwilling and unpaid.”

I think it is weird for people who have never gone through periods of intense suicidal ideation to really grasp how scary it is to worry that somewhere down the line for reasons you can’t even think of right now you might have such a strong urge to off yourself that you can’t resist. That’s really one of the most…

Here is my (probably cockamamie) theory:

well if DeVos doesn’t get confirmed, I think he’s Secretary of Ed. material.

“Wait, you don’t have to feed them?”

Oooh, la-di-da Mr. or Ms. I Can Afford Ground Beef.

If I saw those catches in a Madden game, I’d be like, “Okay, EA Sports... let’s take it down a notch.”

I loved how Goodell tried to do the side shake while saying, “That was awesome...” He thought he’d be able to just mouth some b.s. to Brady and get out of there, but Brady refused to let go. Brady drew Goodell close and made him squirm.

Remember kids, in the HOF opinion, it’s better to be a workmanlike player on the field, who tried to kill a man by opening fire with two semi automatic handguns in public until he was all out of ammo, than a show off on the field who has no such off the field event on his resume.

Looks like someone learned exactly what the discovery process in a civil suit entails...

Still an asshole move no matter if you are a teenager or an adult. That said, I put more blame on his parents for letting that charade even happen. What happened to being humble? If you are that good do your talking on the field. That’s what I would have advised him.

Good for them. It’s usually the Trojans getting fooled by something hidden on the inside.

‘Course, hardly a day goes by in Vegas that someone from Goldman Sachs doesn’t pull out.

This is the most conflicted I’ve ever been over a post. Syrup: good take. Heinz: good take. Leaving ketchup *out* of the fridge YOU SICK FUCK.