Not sure that was his girlfriend. Think it was the hotel housekeeper he hired to nab the Steelers playbook during the fire alarm.

“I was getting thrashed..”.

It has nothing to do with fun and everything to do with money.

I don’t know, it depends on what she looked like naked and if she ever figured out how to charge for live stream and taking paint requests.

I was expecting a Big Ass Bear Fart. Partially because I can’t read, but partially because it makes more sense.

that is a very good bear, making very good art.

Who are you to force these poor birds into an identity they might not relate to? Maybe the bird feels more comfortable identifying as a Cardinal? Who could blame it, with the gap in success between Blue Jays and Cardinals? All its life, the poor bird has been forced into wearing blue by an oppressive culture…

Huh, didn’t think you could have a picture with one horse and two horse’s asses.

Worst dog still better than best cat.

He should have known the kale wasn’t good. KALE AIN’T PLAYED NOBODY, PAWWWLLLL

I hope there exists some talented aircraft mechanic/burglar that flies away in his “sculpture”.

Oscar Wilde: “The only worse than being talked about is not being talked about”

In the NFL or NCAA the only unforgivable sin is losing.

Unfortunately, my wife had a similar experience at Home Depot when she asked for black caulk.

Usually at TJ Maxx

I have fucking had it with the baseball writers getting to vote on the HOF.

MLB and the Hall of Fame have ruled on the Steroid Era! All of those records are official and every player appears on the ballot (unlike Pete Rose). They also just elected Bud F’n Selig. If that isn’t a tacit endorsement to not hold the Steroid Era against anyone I don’t know what is. Enough with this grandstanding…

Kids these days are so soft. Back in my day, you weren’t done in Oregon until you died of dysentery.

Luckily enough the Trump immigration policy makes allowances for white lingerie models.