The first new FA article will be about the Triple T Tank.

They’ll keep the column, but Hulk Hogan will replace Tyler with Sergeant Slaughter.

Yeah her spirituality really has nothing to do with this story.

Time to call out the yellow... jackets?

First crash of the day at Fontana.

Or each other.

Well, why else would the kid on the bench be wearing that “Always Dripping” shirt?

Loser has to settle for the Morgan Stanley internship this summer.

“With the 29th pick in the 2016 NBA draft, Gregg Popovich personally selects Taurean Prince, Baylor.”

FA is the most consistently well-written thing on Gawker, and it’s not particularly close.

I’m on a conference call, and I’m desperately hoping that they aren’t asking me to do anything, because I haven’t paid attention to a single word thanks to this article.

Flying subsonic for two hours in the SR-71 has to be tedious...

We need the FA crew to take over the main Gawker writing duties.

He needs to learn useful life lessons like leaving 13 mil on the table because daddy got his feelings hurt

I’m late to a meeting because of this article, haha

This is such bullshit.

It’s the middle of March, and this kid is going to Spring Training with his dad everyday? Aren’t kids this young supposed to be in some sort of school setting?

I just sat down for lunch and this article popped up. Now I feel like a real life Carls Jr. commercial.

Why does it bother you so much? There are plenty of shitty articles popping out on Jalopnik, so why do you people keep whining about some good, quality and informative journalism that Foxtrot Alpha is (70% of the time, but ultimately better than 70% of the stuff on Jalopnik)?

Yann Hufnagel sounds like someone named their kid after a spilled scrabble board.