needs work, and you probably won't get it if you are a day under 40, but thanks for making the effort.

Wait just one damn minute. He was... Eating? With his coworkers? I demand an investigation.

“I know you all want to ask about the Checkers in my past, but you won’t have Mixon to kick around anymore, because, gentlemen, this is my last press conference. I will say that I regret that missing this season will make my highlights tape 18 1/2 minutes shorter than otherwise.”

TRUE BOB STOOPS STORY:

PT’S FIANCEE PUT HER ENGAGEMENT RING ON PT’S PENIS. RING STUCK

READ LIST OF GRAPHIC PENIS INJURY DESCRIPTIONS.

It was a joke. That’s the (ok, “a”) problem with the Internet— tone cannot be accounted for.

My God...this Kinja.....

Oh god, who let Germany build a superior tank again?

Just a reminder, the penis goes IN THINGS, things don't go in the penis.

• “ENTERTAINING GUESTS BY INSERTING THE WOODEN LEG OF A CHAIR INTO HIS RECTUM”

Moose Munch, which sounds like a filthy act of sexual deviancy but is not!

Oh bless you, for putting the words to the feelings I’ve had about the Chargers leaving.

Context suggests it’s a euphemism for “emitted a tsunami of the most fetid shit imaginable”.

“and was not a family friendly place to go.”

I feel your hatred of children’s choirs is coloring your judgment on the worst ex-Beatle Christmas song. Say what you want about Happy X-Mas, but at least it has a message besides “hey, be happy about shit!”

Though none are, there is one inside the lobby of the Hutchison Cosmosphere in Hutchison Kansas. It’s quite a sight... If you “cosmosphere blackbird”

A five-pointed star? As in ... just a star? Has Mario secretly been a member of the Bloods this whole time?

I was the 69th star of this comment, I feel like I should win something.

I’m Ms. Naughty, I run BrightDesire.com. The people who perform in my porn are paid. They are not “trafficked”. I approach them directly, we discuss what we’re going to shoot and they collaborate in what is filmed. They aren’t forced to do anything. Porn performers are real people with agency who have made their own…