11 out of the 12 balls they supplied were underinflated

If I can't send my ex a carved up tennis ball from time to time, I have no choice but to abandon your rule book.

I also read the phrase "the rise of smartphones" and thought back to the archaic days of 2006.

I thought that was an Albany thing.

This exactly how it goes at my in-laws. I barely get to watch football on Thanksgiving, which is damn near treason. You can't even see the TV from the table.

Can someone try all these out for me?

"Let's say you were transported back in time to before the rise of smartphones—let's go with the mid-'80s."

I've been hearing about Louis' Lunch for years, in particular how they are the purported inventors of the hamburger. I don't know how they are since I've never been, but they can be the inventors all they want, if I'm getting a burger it will have some type of mustard, pickles, onions in any form, something spicy, and…

My wife invariably introduces me to couples where the guy has no interest in sports and beer and I literally have nothing to talk to them about. That probably says more about me than I care to admit.

Wow? Really? If what I wrote requires that sort of reaction, I need to find a job where I get paid to comment on fluff-piece articles for a living. Maybe I'll send my resume to Deadspin!

Disagree, commit when you want to, not because you're supposed to. That said, dating for three year and in your twenties, do not, DO NOT get her a ring for a present unless it is the big one. It will only suffer in comparison to the engagement ring you didn't get her. and she'll be pissed.

I tried to avoid as much comic book stuff as I could, otherwise this entire thing would be 'HEY THE NINETIES HAPPENED, OH GOD'.

*AHEM*

Romantic gestures are only perceived as romantic if the female in question finds you attractive. Otherwise they think it's creepy. I've seen some dudes do some really creepy shit, I mean creepier than the tennis ball thing, but because the dudes were deemed desirable, the girls always felt flattered. But some guys do…

Can you time travel to my sophomore year of HS and let me know this? Thx

These stories vindicate the course I took of bottling up my feelings, not discussing them with anyone, and not trying to pull off stuff like this.

Being a man of persistence and determination, I refuse to see a romantic gesture as failed until I see a copy of the restraining order.

The common theme in all of these stories, for those of you who could bear to read them all, is how poorly the women (or girls) on the receiving end of these failed gestures handled them. Males don't typically do stuff like this because deep down inside, the females we are trying to impress want nothing more than to…

X probably is running a meth lab in a trailer park. I believe that's been the reason for his last few stints in 'hab.

There's no word on how the mosquitos are taking it.