Hi. Sad Motherfucker here.

No, it’s the equivalent of getting a $20 bill back in change instead of the $10 that the cashier owed you, and then when they catch the mistake and ask for it back telling them to fuck off.

This might be a dumb question, but why can’t we just build more B-52s?

The book of Lohan, 69:69

Or go bowling and become a stickler for the rules.

Same here. By the time I was 10 I’d seen the first five Friday the 13th movies, Aliens, Terminator, Rambo, god only knows how many shitty B-grade horror movies we rented from the video store, Revenge of the Nerds and Animal House, to name a few. A lot of them I watched with my parents.

России, ебать да!

Hillary has now won six coin flips and a card draw in this election cycle.

That episode did air in 1992, when the Yankees were still shitty and a punchline, not the annoying world-beating assholes they became a few years later. Could’ve been the scene at the time.

The war in Syria seems to be, essentially, an infomercial for Russian military hardware. Can’t wait to see the power hour discounts on the 2016 armored personnel carriers.

It is violence punctuated with committee meetings. What is more American than that.

My wife is not a comic book fan at all. I usually go to the Marvel movies alone because she just has no interest. But when she saw the trailer for Deadpool she immediately said, “I think I want to see that.”

I really hope Deadpool doesn’t become the new model for superhero movies. Not because it wasn’t good — even my wife, who is not a huge fan of the genre, loved it — but because in typical Hollywood style they’ll try to force Deadpool’s gimmick onto characters who don’t work that way and before long we’ll end up with…

That’s great. But he got away with an obvious backcourt violation.

So the Grizz is encouraging people to jizz?

You heard them: fuck your bodily reactions, your desires, your circumstances; forget that the real problem is abortion access ...

Maybe he was trying to tell you that you have a drinking problem.

Yeah, that’s not real smart either.

A good compromise for the window open or close thing is to turn your vent on (without the AC) and open the back windows. You can still hear the radio and the airflow is good until they get about halfway down. That works for me on the highway until it’s about 75 degrees out, and then after that it’s usually too warm to…

If they’d have had these two in 1940 we never would’ve had to invade Normandy.