Or go bowling and become a stickler for the rules.

Same here. By the time I was 10 I’d seen the first five Friday the 13th movies, Aliens, Terminator, Rambo, god only knows how many shitty B-grade horror movies we rented from the video store, Revenge of the Nerds and Animal House, to name a few. A lot of them I watched with my parents.

России, ебать да!

Hillary has now won six coin flips and a card draw in this election cycle.

That episode did air in 1992, when the Yankees were still shitty and a punchline, not the annoying world-beating assholes they became a few years later. Could’ve been the scene at the time.

The war in Syria seems to be, essentially, an infomercial for Russian military hardware. Can’t wait to see the power hour discounts on the 2016 armored personnel carriers.

That’s great. But he got away with an obvious backcourt violation.

So the Grizz is encouraging people to jizz?

You heard them: fuck your bodily reactions, your desires, your circumstances; forget that the real problem is abortion access ...

Maybe he was trying to tell you that you have a drinking problem.

Yeah, that’s not real smart either.

A good compromise for the window open or close thing is to turn your vent on (without the AC) and open the back windows. You can still hear the radio and the airflow is good until they get about halfway down. That works for me on the highway until it’s about 75 degrees out, and then after that it’s usually too warm to…

If they’d have had these two in 1940 we never would’ve had to invade Normandy.

Cena, especially in the last year, has changed his style to complement the new wave of talent. He’s introduced new moves, experimented with things (the springboard stunner sucks, but at least he’s trying something difference), and played off his opponents’ moves well.

A “work” is a wrestling term for when something looks real, or they do everything they can to make it look real, but it isn’t real. The term comes from the idea of “working” the audience to get a desired reaction. For example, Ric Flair beats Hulk Hogan to a pulp with a chair and forces Hogan to the sidelines for two…

In the Racist Department, they’ll work you like a slave.

Trust me when I say that you REALLY don’t want to see Broncos and Bitches 3.

When I saw the “30 For 30: The Minnesota Vikings Sex Scandal” was coming on, I assumed it’d be on ESPN and not the porn channel.

Yes, and no they won’t care. The Patriots are kind of a “neutral” team. They don’t play them that often, so it really doesn’t matter. Especially if you’re not obnoxious (as in most cities, I’d guess), you’ll be fine.

As a football fan, a very knowledgeable football fan, all I ask is that if you don’t know anything about football to please not fake it. And don’t fucking yapyapyapyapyapyapyapyap during the game. Go in the kitchen or go outside if you’re going to do that.