For Guy No. 2, I’d write this off as a drunken slopfest. Even if you think she likes you, she doesn’t want to be with you. There’s a big difference there. As the advice guy said, this WILL end badly, and you’ll be all alone.

For guy No. 1, is it possible for this to be a friends with benefits situation?

Dude #2: I think his story should have started out with:

Tanks are usually transported by train over large distances to save them from wearing out.

If that’s intended to keep people from talking on their phones while doing their business, that’s goddamn terrific.

Sadly, we can’t get close enough to Roger Goodell’s face to put that theory to its best test.

As opposed to all of those dumbass 1980s defenses who said, “Nah, don’t cover that Rice guy. He sucks.”

Everyone knows that everyone you meet on the internet is a rapist/murderer/pedophile/stalker. Since my wife and I met through Match.com, it’s good that we cancel each other out.

The eyes in a mugshot often tell the story. Some of them, you can tell they’re scared, or resigned to their fate, or that they are people who view human life like most people view bugs. Her eyes look lost and overwhelmed. His ... his are just creepy as hell. Maybe not stone cold killer eyes, but definitely the eyes of…

You missed his point entirely. It’s not enough to simply be in COMPLIANCE.

I think it’s scary/weird/bad because for every legitimate claim of sexual assault there are probably 50 that are he said/she said at best, and drunken regretfests more likely. But, since it’s drilled into every young woman’s head nowadays that sex = rape the accusations and subsequent lawsuits are going to increase.

I think you’ve got this wrong. They’re not banning drones, they’re banning General Grievous from the premises.

Don’t forget that time Doug Masters and Chappy Sinclair brought an entire Middle Eastern dictatorship to its knees and assassinated its leader with just two of them. That alone puts it in the pantheon.

Usually it ends far worse when the cops go to the pistol formation.

That’s one way of looking at it.

When Wallace’s father, the legendary CBS “60 Minutes” anchor Mike Wallace, died in 2012, he said Snyder and his wife, Tanya, were the only couple to mail him flowers and a condolence note.

That’s really what I was getting at earlier, was he could have taken or contested some of the staging areas and made it more difficult to move our forces into the area. I’m sure we’d have found a way, and the actual shooting part of the war was such a mismatch that it’s obvious how it would have gone regardless, but…

Oh, I doubt he could have taken Saudi Arabia. Like you said, too much territory and the Saudis I think had enough military capability to not be pushovers. Plus, the reason we were able to outflank them was because the Iraqis themselves didn’t have the capability to go through that part of the desert, so they reckoned…

Saddam’s first big mistake was, obviously, invading Kuwait. His second big mistake was not invading Saudi Arabia. Maybe his army wasn’t up for it, but he could have at least denied it to the U.S. as a secure staging area in the early days of the conflict. Sitting there for five months with all of his guns pointing in…

There’s a smelling the air tax in California, Chip. Please fork over 5 percent of your paycheck and feel bad about yourself for depriving those less fortunate than your 1 percenter ass of precious oxygen.