Jesus, did a brain damaged 8-year-old write this? Or did a chimp run it through Google Translate on Portuguese to English? Or is this brilliant satire and I’m just not smart enough to grasp it?

Are we sure this is from tonight’s game? Could be recycled from the last time AP and all of his illegitimate children played backyard football at the family reunion.

From Kristin’s Facebook post: “This has ruined his belief in Santa.”

Voice of an angel?

Approaching 100 years old, yes. The theories were first developed in the 1910s and 1920s, the technology in the 1930s. So it’s been about 100 years since we first started to conceive of the possibility of atomic weapons.

Moving two or even three teams to Los Angeles actually improves the NFL’s stadium extortion racket.

Also, the horse looks drunk and sad. Like this was the only gig he could get after washing out of Clydesdale University, and his life has been a downward spiral ever since.

Best part of this is that it’s “The Original” Crazy Stallion. As if there’s hundreds of knock-offs out there but you, humble malt liquor connoisseur, can be assured you’re getting Crazy Stallion the way God intended.

SHOULD HAVE BEEN DISQUALIFIED ... during the casting process.

What’s amazing to me is that nuclear technology is almost 100 years old at this point and still only a handful of nations possess it. I know it’s insanely expensive to develop the technology for yourself, but at some point enough people are educated in its theories and applications that it becomes common knowledge.…

When I was single and living in a small town, I spent a lot of Christmases alone. It was nice on some level, but still lonely. So, one year, when I got an invitation from the 60ish teller at my bank to join her family for dinner I decided “what the hell?” and went.

If you’re traveling more than three hours/one tank of gas in a car, you better be damn sure of the stability of your relationship.

Jason Pierre Paul has better hands than Ted Ginn Jr.

Likes the way the Panthers do things.

People seem to not like him as a villain because he’s not Vader. “He’s weak.” Well yeah, he screws up sometimes. I think it makes the whole story more interesting.

Phillipians? Did Emmitt Smith hack Steve Harvey’s Twitter account?

In this deleted scene from the 1966 movie classic “Batman,” the Joker’s henchmen engage in a tug-of-war battle with the Dynamic Duo.

Just remember, LeSean, if you feel something land on your neck and you think it’s someone in the upper deck spitting at you ... it’s not spit.

You really just posted this to brag about getting double-teamed on a hand job, didn’t you?

This is obviously a personal issue for her. If e-mail servers, for example, had better encryption then she wouldn’t have to spend half her campaign budget dumping the old ones in the bottom of the ocean and buying new ones.