It's actually Parts 2-4 that take place over the same week, although they're not long after Part 1.

Part V scared the shit out of me as a kid. I watched the first four by the time I was 9 years old with no issues whatsoever. Then Part V came along and I was taken aback at how unrelentingly brutal it was with the pace of the kills. In analyzing it later in life, I realized why it was so disturbing. It was just so…

Body Count: 12 Countdown Until Drugs And/Or Pre-Marital Sex: 18 minutes Weapons: Meat cleaver, knitting needle, pitchfork (2X), spear gun, machete (2X), knife, fuse box, fireplace poker, head crush, wrench How Jason Dies: Briefly hung, then a machete to the head Best Kill: Spears are not meant for eyeballs.

That looks like the lineup full of randomly generated names when you're about 15 seasons into franchise mode on NBA2K15.

Clearly, this was a man at work. Sadly, the dance was not as safe as it seemed.

My Virginia (near) horror story didn't involve jail time, but after reading this I'm thanking God that it didn't.

"By which I mean I shrugged, waved, and proceeded to enter my motel room where I chain smoked two packs of cigarettes while watching old Law and Order episodes."

Another mysterious "between the mattresses" item. Is that like the place lost dryer socks go? Do people just stuff random crap between the mattresses before checking out for shits and giggles? Is there a community out there that gets their jollies off of this? Maybe there's a Gawker site to be had where people post…

It'll always be Boston's second-favorite, though, behind the Bird sandwich.

Chip Kelly has become that asshole who starts with a paper clip and keeps trying to trade for things until he has a car.

Was this like the soccer version of some kung fu movie,where some super powerful crime lord has assembled the finest soccer teams in the world for his personal amusement and no one else can watch?

"Marvin Gaye's song goes ding-ding-ding-dingdingdingding. Robin's goes ding-ding-ding-tingtingtingting. It's not the same."

I actually think it's like Antarctica, where there are treaties in place to keep any one country from "claiming it" and colonizing it. Only a handful of countries are signatories to them, though, and none that matter (i.e., the ones that are don't have manned space programs).

By the time they enroll, most UNC and Duke students know how to spell and use proper grammar.

I used to drive a long, straight back road to work when I was in college and would push the family's 1989 Buick Regal to its limit. Got it up to 106 once, and 104 or 105 a few other times.

Whenever I'm at a party and happen to have a toothpick in hand, my first instinct is to say "Hey yo!" and fling it at someone.

Derek Jeter, because, New York.

My hours are flexible too, but I have a one-hour commute on days I have to work at the office and not at home. There's a lot of days when I leave the house in the dark at 5:30 a.m. and work until 5 p.m. It's dark when I leave the house, and the sun is just coming up when I pull into the parking lot. When I leave work…

Some mahthafacka attacka Daka at the Waka Flocka show?

Come on, what's the worst that can happen with a raised floor?