"Marvin Gaye's song goes ding-ding-ding-dingdingdingding. Robin's goes ding-ding-ding-tingtingtingting. It's not the same."

I actually think it's like Antarctica, where there are treaties in place to keep any one country from "claiming it" and colonizing it. Only a handful of countries are signatories to them, though, and none that matter (i.e., the ones that are don't have manned space programs).

By the time they enroll, most UNC and Duke students know how to spell and use proper grammar.

I used to drive a long, straight back road to work when I was in college and would push the family's 1989 Buick Regal to its limit. Got it up to 106 once, and 104 or 105 a few other times.

Whenever I'm at a party and happen to have a toothpick in hand, my first instinct is to say "Hey yo!" and fling it at someone.

Derek Jeter, because, New York.

My hours are flexible too, but I have a one-hour commute on days I have to work at the office and not at home. There's a lot of days when I leave the house in the dark at 5:30 a.m. and work until 5 p.m. It's dark when I leave the house, and the sun is just coming up when I pull into the parking lot. When I leave work…

Some mahthafacka attacka Daka at the Waka Flocka show?

Come on, what's the worst that can happen with a raised floor?

But how much better is our personal transportation system, i.e., cars and highways? Or even the air transportation system?

"Many cats living in it ..."

That's because Justin Bieber is the douchiest douche who ever douched. Having a shiny chrome car is only one of a million reasons why.

As a bonus, if you park it at the right angle you can use it to fry entire ant hills.

This blows.

"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope" has been the Wizards/Bullets slogan since 1980.

They ought to do a bunch of these and call them "Where's Marshawn?"

It's the same company that makes and ships the "Seattle Seahawks: Super Bowl XLIX Champions" T-shirts to Burundi.

Is that main picture of young Hubie Brown or middle-aged Moe Szyslak?

Me: "Alright, so I have a venti whole milk with whip skinny peppermint mocha. Just to be sure, you still want the sugar free mocha and peppermint syrups, correct?"

Mysterio is a much better darts player.