You have to be kidding me. You think that should be a major and a game? I’m a Caps fan and I’m not a fan of him making that play because it’s unnecessary. But good grief, a major and a game is possibly the dumbest take you could have here, it’s almost as if you’ve never watched a professional hockey game before.

Oh Lauren, I don’t know how to tell you this, but this role is already filled by Mike Milbury. Thanks for trying out.

You make a list that long, and don’t include kielbasa or sausage of any kind? Maybe go look for a steel-toed boot to smash your own balls on. Idiot.

Brown actually says this to the cop. I would actually be hilarious if this weren’t such a shitty thing. Start the video at 3:00 and get to about 3:30. He asks the cop something like, “so what are we gonna do ...” because the cop is just standing there silently. Because he has called for back up. For a parking…

I had a college roommate who was a math major. This was all pre-9/11, mind you, not that it matters much. One night, after a long night of drinking, things turned philosophic. He waxed on that one of his professors had advanced the theory that if you shot an arrow toward an apple on a person’s head, slicing it in half…

There’s a Japanese College football world??

If you decide to rock that choade hairstyle WITH those glasses, you don’t get to be mad or surprised at anyone who stares at you. It’s in the invisible rules written in lemon juice that you can only see if you put the paper close — but not too close — to a candle flame.

You inglorious bastard.

This has to be this lady complaining that the ladies room needed servicing, probably some TP replacement, and probably aggressive like YOU GO TAKE CARE OF THIS RIGHT NOW? And Tim Horton’s Cashier Guy gave her the, Ehh, I’m gonna keep taking orders for donuts and coffee ma’am, the manager’s not here right now so you…

I loved this one. I’ve loved them all. They’re just so ridiculously over the top it’s hilarious to me. Anywhere but Vegas and it would be dumb, but it just works for Vegas, because who doesn’t love a show in Vegas? My wife was all “Oh this is ridiculous, just play the game ...” and I’m just laughing louder and longer…

It’s YAMMY you idiots.

As a non-lawyer, thank you for writing this. You made this very approachable. Also as a non-lawyer, it’s possible you’re making this all up and I’d never know the difference. So .....

Really. start the video 0:27. Where the announcer is saying “Stasny loses his balance ... loses control of the puck ...” This happens because of the stick barring his midsection. He was impeded, taken down, and lost the puck. This video is not the best angle, and I’ll agree it looks more borderline in this look, but…

Too bad that top video doesn’t start about 3 seconds sooner when we would see Tatar hook the dick off of that Winnipeg player who is just getting up at the start of the video. That both helped keep the puck in the zone and didn’t send Tatar into the box who then scored the goal. And I’m casually rooting for Vegas here!

It’s all I can think about EVERY SINGLE TIME I see a Forsberg highlight.

Don’t forget about the snap brim hat he dons! That’s my game jersey too. And as one of four retired Caps’ jerseys, I think a good number of fans know him, if maybe not the Ovechkin-era new comers.

My god. This “hair.” Oh the humanity.

Thank you sir. Sounds like good advice. I’ve probably done this, in effect, anyway. It seems like a cool sport that interests me, just never quite enough for me to fully engage.

Nice shot, Blaise Riordon.

Honest question, I’m a hockey guy (professional spectator and dad of three hockey players, in at least one rink pretty much every day) and I know people say there’s a lot of similarities and I know a lot of hockey players who play lax too. But in hockey, you more or less can’t touch the goalie, even if he’s outside of…