I like to write papers an hour before they are due. Although my papers range in length from 1-3 pages, so I guess for a 16 page paper I didn’t want to do I’d need..... 4 hours? I got an ‘A’ on my philosophy paper and mostly ‘B’s on others.

Premature blast-off.

Well, bully for her. I’m here to judge the fuck out of them.

I’ve been training all my life for this moment.

The upcoming meeting at the White House, which ESA will attend, will provide the opportunity to have a fact-based conversation

Butter Crisco is the TITS for cookies. My husband used it (recipe from his sainted mother/Nestle bag) and I have NEVER looked back.

“President Trumps not there, he is in Florida - Damnit”

Who are they hurting? Come on.

My husband and I have agreed that if anyone were to offer either one of us $10,000+ for sex we would take the deal. We’re cheap.

Pretty sure we’d have a cow.

It’s a good idea, and as we all know, good ideas are always abhorrent in the US.

This is pretty much the closest character to Ted

“Women on average are more cooperative”

I just love the hunting excuse. I grew up in hunting country, and if you need an AR-15 to shoot Bambi you are a shitty hunter.

House cat!?!? They can take out full grown human soldiers...

Many people in rural communities, especially in indigenous communities, rely on hunting for food. Nobody needs a handgun or an assault weapon though.

Oh no he didn’t

But have you tried slow cooking your Tide Pods in the Crock Pot yet?

I hate to say this...but I see an X-Files “home” situation here. If the oldest child is 29, and the mother is 49, and there is a 2 year old child, I’m betting the 2 year old didn’t come from the 47 year old being pregnant. 

Well, yes.