United released this statement:

Damn! Automotive News has hacked into Jalopnik and is pissing all over anything travel related!

Come on, AN, why do you hate fun? Point on the doll where the Demon hurt you. I’m going to need you to fill out a “hurt feelings report”. Any other prudish comments?  

There’s a mint 2nd gen Tracer wagon parked at work every day. Sort of a sad red color. I’m dying to find out who owns it. I’m guessing I’ll see him or her and think “yep, that’s about right.”

Pittance! You should build a gigantic water track for racing Ferrari luxury cruise ships with go-kart tracks on them.

The insensitivity of these responses are really starting to grate on me.

This is what they wanted.

You can almost see the beginnings of the large plastic cladding that would eventually festoon most Pontiacs of the era.

Man, I hate it when I confuse my VIN number for my PIN number at the ATM machine. It makes the people citizens behind me angry at a high rate of speed.

Angry Pigs? I’m surprised it has taken this long.

or alternate headline: Tens of people upset that Michael Keaton wasn’t at unveiling of Gung Ho! The Ride at the New York Auto Show.

Top photo caption:

Baby Bugatti FTW!! All sorts of awesome could be had if only a matching wheel could be found.

Buy this and wave goodbye to usefulness as this thing is a show pony. Hitch it up to anything more than a small trailer holding your car show display and collection of time-out dolls <shiver> and you’re asking for trouble.

I’m so glad someone is carrying on the Element. Honda should have never killed it. Crossovers are where it’s at!!

My grandma left a Mercedes in the grocery store parking garage for a couple of months, give or take 30, and some squatter took ownership and seized the car. We didn’t miss it.

1st Gear:

I’m guessing that line about the drag radials is supposed to say they’re rated for 168 MPH.

I see some of these and I think, “Ugh, you have 7 antennas and your ancestors use to make swords.”

CUV ‘Ring times is totally a thing, right? If not, it might as well be. And SUV as well, and pickup trucks. and limos. I seen a video this morning of the presidential limo doing a lap backwards. The secret service can really drive!!